DJ Premier - Slowly Bleeding lyrics

[Verse 1: Swami Netero] I'd like To get it right/ But I'm always going out And getting faded every night/ I say it isn't right But I ain't taking my advice/ I'm elated off the white Inebriated off the sprite/ You might just say it's wrong Cause I'm conscious of my flaws/ But don't do jack at all Except expose them in these songs/ I long to chuck the bong So I won't be hypocritical/ To cultivate my spiritual But I'm gonna need a miracle/ For beer to make me irritable Atleast in these conditions/ No food up in my kitchen And noone around to listen/ Maybe I'm codependant But tell myself I'm not/ Cause my ego's trying to block My heart from getting ripped and squashed/ Cause it's happened a lot So I've just given up/ I'll numb my feelings with these d** Instead of trying to look for love/ I've had enough Of being lonely and depressed/ But everytime I think I found her It just turns into a mess/ Forget the s** I want my life to have some meaning/ I need someone to heal me Cause my heart is slowly bleeding/ I guess the reason's Cause I just want a family/ A wife who's understanding me And kids to love emphatically/ Ain't had it in the past you see But I ain't trying to blame noone/ Me and my three brothers Always walking home and getting jumped/ But that was just life growing up Later's when it got to me/ All I had was drug addicts To help my mama father me/ And they can't do it properly They're busy eating up the food/ Swore I'd never walk out on my kids Just some other dudes/ No matter what I'm going through I'm just gonna have to deal with it/ All this pain I'm feeling Ain't going to have my children feeling this/ I'm always going to be there for them I'll love them more than anything/ We're always going to be giggling Be tighter than some skinny jeans/ For now I'll keep the imagery And travel in obscurity/ To cleanse all my impurity And heal my insecurity/