Del The Funky Homosapien - If You Must (LP version) lyrics

It's important to practice good hygiene At least if you wanna run with my team I'm bout to get into some sh** that I've seen This fool's breath, I mean so bad it'll melt your ice cream They say don't say nothing if you can't say nice things Sittin too close to him it burned(?) like my eyes sting I try to be subtle, hand him a stick of gum I was a victim of breath on him Running his yap about what sets he from Gotta get some gum gotta get him some He turned it down, his teeth was brown Excruciating for him and it was a new sensation I had to ask the dope to pa** the soap Cuz his toe had the sniff of crustaceans Or bathrooms in a bus station He had a can of Olde E and some raisins Amazing... head to toe B.O He didn't know, used to the fragrance Just as the days went without bathing He felt manly and not like a maiden He had one dread, and fungus Said he worked on peoples' toilets with plungers Girls let the guy you were with the tongue ya So guys take your cue from this num-ba(number) (CHORUS) (x2) You gotta wash your a**, if you must You gotta wash your hair, if you must You gotta brush your teeth, if you must Or else you'll be funkyyyyyyyy Now at cla** you need total concentration But there's kids in the back holdin conversations Crackin on each other, and neither were poster boys Both of em smell like the type that soap avoids Coast and Joy, they leave their absence One's fool's feet smelled like it struck some matchsticks Brimstone, girls would never bring him home I was laughin, then his friend raised his tone And said, "Bud you rolled all over yourself" "yeaaa" I know some people your a** should be submerged Like you need to deal with water cuz you smell like a turd Wanna cap get some courage, your feet smell lurid Well look it up And while you're at it, get a cup And squeeze the sweat out your sweatshirt and drink it or gargle You get our vote for most stinkiest That n***a started thinkin of sh**, said I was frail I said he was stale Underarms is ripe Undergarments tight, about to leap out your holy sweats And we holdin bets, and after this I'm gonna collect n***a check, yourself Respect yourself And wash your mothaf**in body 'fore your sweatshirt melt Like radioactive, no lady find you attractive The funk got you captive You don't need a map b**h (CHORUS) (x2) You gotta wash your a**, if you must You gotta wash your hair, if you must You gotta brush your teeth, if you must Or else you'll be funkyyyyyyyy