Dave Plowman - Halifax Rap Legend lyrics

Step with ba** like Ron Carter That's a non-starter Even if there's more of you than avant-garders in Montmartre Rolling with Joan of Arc or Napoleon Bonaparte You could still get blown apart Homie, and thrown to sharks Glow-in-the-dark stars don't hardly impress astronomers; No-one in parked cars can party unless they're honking first Um, anyway, that's why I rap fast, usually So you can be still impressed when I come half-a**ed or foolishly Still, fourteen syllables and it wasn't about car wheels! Hey, I'm friends with Hope Larson: a dope person and a Tarheel! I got rapping to a science, I've been practising for so long I've got more rhymes in four lines than most rappers in a whole song they got written And that's an achievement you kittens and cats can believe in So at the end of the show when you go, you wish you didn't have to be leaving And actually, even things I don't say but let you know implicitly are so exquisitely expressed that if you could You'd go and visit me in Halifax HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Whether you like it or not, I'm a) HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (No matter what anyone says, I'm a) HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Even if no-one heard of me, I'm a) HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Yeah, y'all!) Your crew's overrated; You've been resting on your laurels I serve nuts like you like I worked at a restaurant for squirrels! Yeah, that joke could have been cruder But I guess I want the world to look upon me fondly Even when I press up on their girls I know you're thinking, “What's with the macho sh**, Jesse D? You're more like the opposite!” Yes indeed, but I uh thought it was... funny? Well, um, droll, and I'll exercise self-control when I damn well feel like it, or when hell runs cold - whichever comes first Never said a dumb verse in my life! Well, alright, but I could have done worse I'm as good of a person as any you know, and I sped up the flow when it should have been slow Psyche, just kidding! Thought about doing that, but I didn't I thought that it would make me look bad, kinda like plagiarism Save your derision – derivative works are a major tradition in rap Even though today they could take you to prison for that So if anyone asks, I made all the rhythms from scratch and you can wink after They'll never catch me, I'm a gem and not a crook like the pink panther and also a HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Whether you like it or not, I'm a) HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (No matter what anyone says, I'm a) HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Even if no-one heard of me, I'm a) HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Who moved to Ottawa from Edmonton) Now, don't you never tell no-one that I told you But there's no such thing as acting like you know too much No-one owes that thing you do a fair shake or a good review So don't get mad at what I am because you think it should be you I extend beyond me and take full court advantage Just to be remembered fondly like the pulled pork sandwich at Blue Moon down on Gottingen, or North End Diner breakfasts My bravado is more than kind of reckless, nevertheless it's the HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (In Ottawa, I be the) HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (In Edmonton, I was the) HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (When I'm down in the States, I be the) HALIFAX RAP LEGEND You don't know! I could be! I mean you can't prove I'm not I could be a Halifax rap legend I have friends who think I'm a Halifax rap legend They tell their friends, that's all it takes, man Rap legend for real