[Verse 1] Wouldn't it be nice to be a h**ne? Cool and slinky with an appropriate smile Honey, I take sugar, two While he's ranting and raving Could you pa** that cream? I was looking to have a cupa tea Instead I freeze Seeing his next move, is it grabbing my hair? Or bushing my tush Till there's no scream left? Wouldn't it be nice to be a h**ne? [Chorus] Wouldnit, wouldnit? Wouldnit, wouldnit? Wouldnit, wouldnit? Wouldnit? Mmm [Verse 2] Wouldn't it be nice to be a hero? Standing fast and easy with an appropriate grin Brother, not that way, they'll take you away Mmm, give me your gun It's no use to anyone Instead I freeze Seeing if I shut up and stay real still Maybe he won't k** At least not me Wouldn't it be nice to be a hero? [Chorus] Wouldnit, wouldnit? Wouldnit, wouldnit? Wouldnit, wouldnit? Wouldnit? Mmm [Verse 3] Wouldn't it be nice to be a star? Shinin' and sparklin', looking down the whole and plenty Being looked up with a telescope While my sisters busy cutting the rope Daddy, you can't touch me Mommy, you can't hate me I'm a star, get it? Instead I froze And I let them, I let them I let them pick my brain Twist my arm, cut my throat And wish me dead But I'm still thinking Wouldn't it be nice to be a star? [Chorus] Wouldnit, wouldnit? Wouldnit, wouldnit? Wouldnit, wouldnit? Wouldnit?