Danny Schmidt - Almost Round The World lyrics

I took a photo of my mother with a puzzle on her face* She was lost in concentration next to tulips in a vase And I framed it good with maple wood and I hung it in its place And I called it "Almost Round The World In Less Than Eighty Days" Once I wrote a song about a parrot and a pig It was mostly about the way I wish I said the things I think And I played once for people in the Netherlands to see If it made the same strange sense to them as the sense it made to me There was a writer from the paper there and he wrote a nice review That got printed with a photo in the local music news But the caption read: “A cowboy poet sings about abuse Of animals in Texas and the things they're made to do.” Well I laughed at bad translations and I showed it to my friends And they posted it online just for the fun and for the fans And I didn't think much of it til one day a message came That said the vegans were erupting and the hunters were inflamed So I went and read the boards where all the flames were being thrown And my name was being doused about like fuel upon the coals The righteous and the roustabouts, the shepherds and the trolls They were pa**ing around petitions, raising hell and forming folds And soon the loudest of the louds became the busiest of bees And it was hard to understand at all, but it was harder to believe When they somehow woke the NRA like a giant from its sleep And the beanstalk came a-crashing down and letters fell like leaves I've got an aunt in Arizona, she's crazy but she's kind She's the kind to open all her mail and to easily subscribe To the pundits and their politics, the lobbies and their lies She reads em all like gospel and she eats em up like pie So imagine if you will the day she called my mom to see If it's true that I love terrorists and communists and thieves Cause it said so in the letter that she'd so easily received And I rushed to get my camera before my mom could call retreat So I've got this photo of my mother with a puzzle on her face With the phone against her shoulder and my means against her ways And the tulips on the table danced in circles while I played I called it "Almost Round The World In Less Than Eighty Days"