Dana Dane - Tales from the Dane Side lyrics

[Intro] In this starlit world of fame and fortune Our realities are sometimes dimmed by stature and ego But when the mic is checked and the spotlight shines There comes another side A Dane Side [Verse 1] Now I'mma start this tale from here, is that okay with you I met a girl, okay the other day or two She called me up and said, “Dane, I'd like to see you." "Be here at 9. Better yet, make it a quarter-to.” Well at her house I wrung the bell, “Who is it?” “Me, Dana Dane, here to pay Kim a visit” A faint voice said, “I'm back here!” As I bypa**ed the living room, straight to the rear Now in the bedroom on the bed she lay Urging me on as she began to say “I heard you were great, by word of mouth" "But right here and now I'm going to wear you out” I threw my arms in the air, said “It's out of my hands.” I took off my shirt and dropped my pants Then with a grin and [?] I jumped in And I swam and I swam like a happy dolphin I hit at all angles, the bottom, the top Then she screamed out, “Dane, stop!” I knew she seemed to (be) singing a new tune Exhausted, she slowly went to the bathroom Then a moment later she was back ready?! “Excuse me lover boy, ready for round two?” For four or five rounds now this went on Something was wrong Cause I was getting worn So I followed to the bathroom to scope the deal Yo, it couldn't be, it can't be real Now check this out y'all Would you believe, Kim was just one of the beautiful three? But now that I had met the whole gang Three on one? But it ain't no thing You think that tale's too tall or maybe I lied? But anything can happen in Tales from the Dane Side? [Verse 2] Late one night walking through a park Gosh, I must admit it was awfully dark Now me and this kid, he didn't pay me no mind He was stepping kind of fast, I guess he had to make time A hood on his head, couldn't see his face But by the way that he walked, well I a**umed he was gay He dipped out (of) the park and I knew he was gone But wait, pointed at my head was this .45 long It was the kid, came back for me He said, “Take off your coat and all your j**elry” Other than the fact I was about to be taxed Something in this guy's voice made me, um, relax Playing with my coat, trying to stall for time He knew I was trying to play with his mind He started getting confused like a young boy would He made a frantic mistake and took off his hood Astonished, amazed, my face turned pale Would you believe this guy was a sweet female? She said, “Want everything that you've got on I even want your BVD nylons” “Now BVDs,” I said, “are well and fine” “But the Dane here only wears Calvin Klein.” She changed. My name must have struck a nerve “Are you the rapper Dana Dane? You can't be, word” She said, “You're the best. You're number one” Smiling, blushing, waving the gun Word to the parent, I gotta get some As she pulled out a pack of lubricated condoms Forced me to take of my fly [?] [?] We proceeded to christen an old park bench Some might disbelieve and say I lied But anything can happen in Tales from the Dane Side [Verse 3] Now I went to a party, go cool and hard Girlies calling out my name like I'm a superstar Screaming out of their heads Going out of their minds Saying, “Oh, Dana Dane, you're so divine!” Now the night was still early, about an hour until twelve When up jumps this figure from the depths of hell He introduced himself, “LUCIFER THE GREAT” He said he'd have my soul and he was so convinced His eyes on fire His voice cold A wave of his hand appeared a mic of gold Now with the same chill voice from him I was told “I'll wager this mic against your soul” Now the wage was this, who could rock the mic? Who could make the party pump for the rest of the night? The mic must have made me outright possessed Because I didn't hesitate and took his bet Now to bet against the devil is a sure enough sin And everybody knows you just can't win The girls knew the deal. They cried out my name “Please don't take the rapper Dana Dane!” Now the devil, he laughed, he thought he'd won But he didn't know the battle had just begun Cause I kicked him this rhyme, yes smooth and on tempo He tried the same, but a real lame attempt though He bowed his head and said, “I lose” Then laid the golden mic by my Bally shoes So I slapped him across the head and said, “for shame, for shame” Now right before eyes, yo, the devil changed Now laughing at me with these rotten teeth Yeah, you guessed it, Anita The Beast Now some might disbelieve and say I lied But anything can happen in Tales from the Dane Side