Dan Bull - South Park: The Stick of Truth Rap lyrics

[Intro: Eric Cartman] A cup of Fairy Ale isn't much if not accompanied By some bardic poems and songs [Dan Bull] For a thousand years, the battle has been waged But there's strange tidings, the tides of war are sure to change We live in sinister times, there's an imminent fight Bigger than Kyle's mom, have you seen her behind? A hero will rise, he needs to be wise And Jews can't be saviours, so it's best he isn't circumcised There's whisperings around these parts of a new kid There's a house on Fuller Street that they say he moved in I hear tell he's a muteling, he doesn't speak much It has nothing to do with the game's pre-release budget We need a saviour greater than the Dragonborn Let me consult my magic tome stashed away within this stack of p**n There's Cartman, Grand Wizard ruling Kupa Keep Where you can barter, buy some armour or just find some food to eat This is the tent in which we kept the Stick of Truth but see Clyde had one job, and he messed it up quite stupidly And so now, new kid, it's up to you to seek And return the Stick to its place to break the losing streak Let us proceed in this hour of darkness With the courage of dragons, and the power of fart mist Through towers and arches, we scour the territories Whether showers or fire pits, disembowel our enemies The sourest hardships will never defeat our people We keep releasing lethal farts that are without equal An ancient secret: the Nagasaki Fart Leave you with a bleeding nose and looking like you party hard With such an epic quest, you need a band of merry men To dig up buried treasure chests and see you to the very end bu*ters is a Paladin, Stan's a Warrior with A.D Kenny is a Princess, don't ask why, that's how he's rolling lately And Kyle finally acknowledges his true self As he transmutes into the form of a High Jew Elf So go forth now, blow the war horn I will stay and guard the Keep and maybe look at more p**n Use your power shrewdly, or never see your enemy fall Because one does not simply fart on anyone's balls Battle Underpants Gnomes, Goblins and Vampire Kids The town relies on you to undo that which has been did In you we trust, I've prophesied your destiny Put an end to evil in the nuts like a vasectomy