I've fallen in love with someone unexpected Spend all of my money on her Until there's nothing left And at the end of the day she waits at the corner shop And lets me pop to fetch her I guess that it's a ritual now I'm addicted to how she's got me breathless Ever since that first cool kiss It's bliss I appear to be in love With someone I never dreamed of A lot of us have a soft spot for coffee Well my one stop shop for pop is the offy Knocking back bottles is my hobby, so what? What the f** would I want to be stopping for? I lock my door, tip the bottle and pour Finish off all the port, and still I'm wanting more With a beer put beside me I come alive I feel that my mind loosens up and thrives And such delightful stuff that lights up my rubbish life Is something quite tough to give up imbibing There's nothing like it, drunken nights in a pub Or drunken nights in with nine tins If drinking was a drinking game, I'd win Then wish to play best of five Then best of the rest of the night 'til I'm a mess of a sight But having an excellent time For the rest of my life I swear [Hook:] In the loneliest of nights Yeah I'm alright In the loneliest of times I'm fine Let me see, the bottom of a bottle is the lens On which I've come to depend to let me see I look at my friends that are ahead of me I'm not going to pretend there's no jealousy I was full of potential for fun and adventures But somehow the fun's now come to an end, look: Rewind back - as a lad I saw drunks And thought that I would never be like that Now I see people look at me like that And it seems like we wind the thing right back I see my past, see my path And I see the spot where I wandered off life's beaten track But even that won't sober me up, I'll go to the pub And swallow my pride til I'm throwing it up Is it the lowest I've sunk of all time? I don't know, and I don't give a f**, look, I'm fine [Hook]