Dan Avidan (and Ninja Brian/ Brian Wecht) NSP - 6969 lyrics

Part I: Prologue [Narrator] Somewhere deep in the slow, eternal dance of the heavens drifts a planet called simply "Earth" And among the otherwise unremarkable population of this planet are two incredible heroes, destined to save the future from itself [Danny Sexbang] Hey Ninja Brian, I made a time machine spaceship. You... wanna go on it? [Ninja Brian] ... [Dan] Yeah, okay cool Part II: A Rainbow Of Time Soaring through the galaxy, the stars and sky align The speed of light's for pussies; we're going at the speed of Brian Flying towards the s**ual peak of history and time Computer, set a s**y course for the s**iest year Sixty-nine Sixty-nine (Sixty-nine) I've got my space suit (Sixty-nine) And ninety pounds of space lube Crossing through into a f**in' worm hole beyond the Milky Way That sh**'s far To a time on Earth so far into the future where everyone gets laid Twice as hard We're noble knights of honor on a fierce and sultry bu*t crusade Here we are! Open the bay doors and let's live the dream Give the world a double team I bet it's a billion person orgy in an ocean of whipped cream Wait, this place isn't s**y at all! And this robot sign says human touch has been outlawed I can't believe my eyes, but it's a world without s** Everyone here just wears full length pants and loose fitting turtlenecks Men and women wave to each other from a respectable distance Without the thrill of boning, what is life? We must speak to the Council of Dick Elders tonight Part III: To Sleep, Perchance To Cream [Dan] Excuse me, Dick Elders? [Dick Elder Michael Starr] What do you want? [Dan] I know it's most unusual to come before you so But the planet Earth s**s balls now that no one's allowed to bone We've come from the past to introduce you to a** [Dick Elder] Wait! You're Ninja Sex Party! You will ruin our plans! Guards! Sound the alarms! If people have s**, they'll break our thousand-year spell There will be a revolution, and they'll think for themselves We control this planet of unsatisfied wood Why does being evil always feel so damn good? [Dan] f** that bullsh**, we'll make it right Get ready for a s**y fight My dick's the spark of hope and a revolution shall ignite (tonight) We're taking flight, we have to find a girl [Dick Elder] Shoot the f**ing lasers! Shoot the f**ing lasers at 'em! [Dan] Show her what it means to love, and fix this broken world [Dick Elder] All the f**in lasers! All the f**in lasers at 'em! [Dan] A new s** king will rule; let the bo*er banners be unfurled [Dan] Ninja Brian, look at that girl with the sad eyes and the beautiful blonde hair. I'm immediately in love! (Sixty-nine) She spent her life all alone (Sixty-nine) Wanna take her to the bone zone (Sixty-nine) Make her feel the pleasure (Sixty-nine) Of my naughty treasures Part IV: Grand Reckoning At The Castle Of Infinity I can't believe my eyes, but you're the girl of my dreams Let's both tear all of our clothes off like two pants-hating wolverines The love we make will save the Earth from this oppressive dick regime We're having s** now To change the world! You brought three friends now Oh sh**, they're girls! I think it's obvious that people liked our s**y show Multi-billion person orgy has broken out all across the globe The human race, much like my junk, will now be free to grow But what about the Elders? We tore their world to shreds Maybe they'll be cool with it Oh hey, Dick Elders! How's it goin'? [Dick Elder] You two are f**ing dead! [Dan] So much for that, it's time to put on pants And run away from their d**h Army which is starting to advance [Dick Elder] Shoot the f**in' lasers! Way more f**in' lasers at 'em! [Dan] We can't die, we are way too young And there are so many girls to ball [Dick Elder] Shoot the f**in' lasers! Way more f**in' lasers at 'em! [Dan] But now we're cornered with our backs against the wall! [Dick Elder] It's over, Danny Sexbang! Your time has come! But first, we're gonna take care of your ninja friend, here! (Slash) Aaaaaaahhhhh! [Dan] Goddamn, Brian, you k**ed them all Now the empire will fall I have to say in retrospect that was easier than I thought! Part V: Peace, At Last, Peace Our work here's done, the future is secure But my girl and I have one last farewell slam just to be sure For underneath those rockin' b**bs lies a heart that is so pure Take care of this world for me, my darling, I will always love you ...What is your name by the way? Kristen? Ah, a beautiful name Until that glorious day when we meet again, Katie, farewell! Now let us fly into the night sky And we'll raise a gla** to a** in a final goodbye To sixty-nine, sixty-nine Sixty-nine sixty-nine (Sixty-nine) Let us be gone (Sixty-nine) Our quest is life-long (Sixty-nine) It's a s**y destiny so lets rock the f** on Part VI: Yay f** yeah f** yeah Chimes fade out