I know a guy who Goes to shows He makes me coffee He makes me toast He don't use bu*ter He don't use cheese He don't use jelly Or any of these He uses vaseline Vaseline Vaseline Vaseline I know a guy who Goes to shows But when he's at home and Blows his nose He don't use tissues Or his sleeves He don't use napkins Or any of these He uses magazines Magazines Magazines Magazines I know a girl who Reminds me of Cher She's always changing The colour of her hair She don't use nothing From The store She Likes to keep her hair / Real orange She uses tangerines Tangerines Tangerines Tangerines