Cubbiebear - Hello lyrics

It's only days 'till we miss him And I've learned to cope By dismissing a night With alcohol and paper, alone I'm too self-aware Before we cared I should have known That I'd k** myself in thought Any mistake I'd own I'm framing Every picture No smile on my face Missed calls, so anxious That I'd be judged in my ways Who you told or not How they see that I'm sour To break all these friendships Feeling viewed as a coward And I'm not crazy I'm feeling faults [?] on itself To say it sound try [?] enough To hold a guard on all else So resentment is a quilt We stitch anxious with memories With a grudge we held at close to comfort acting as enemies And I hate it This monster's face I play in Scare the one thing I love Squeezing 'til suffocation Til I'm sorry as a person Left with nothing to prove But a chest filled with pain again And regret for loving you Hello How are you doing? Hope you're doing well Hello How are you doing? I'm doing better now Right I may be a bitter man It's probably better you left If you could only see me now How I handle the stress I'm a shell Nothing left to prove and still viewed in hate With a [?] someone like you Personified by your face And I'm taking flak For everything that I could have had And blame myself Forgive you easily That memory and pa** But a grudge says wait OCD counts the days Anxiety makes me pay And saying I'd crack from the weight I wanna say stay But it's not that easy The damage is too deep for you to forgive These chains won't free me I see myself as sick And don't speak or sleep why'd I? Unique and overan*lyzing It's all the same, why try I'm tripping Past years I can't grasp, the days Blurred into weeks trying to sleep Counting new lines on my face Any mirror, I stay silent They all fault when I save hope Chose to trace your finger makes Spelling out hate And I read alone How are you doing? Hope you're doing well Aha Hello How are you doing? Are you still bitter now? Every moment we hush Any touch to remember To answer you honestly I could be doing much better But I'm at home This anger is a bulk that always carried me It forms a blank at the wall with weight of me bury me A challenge is my air My blood palms and [?] Next to cold sheets and sweat, awake Losing what's left Becomes a blur I fight the difference an*lyzing fur With a hold that only you can piece But you're lost in my words It's all downhill from here And we both know it For me at least with [?] But in poems you start showing This is laughable, [?] Complements, act heroic Within odds in tied with tippy-toe I crash through, I'm going Possessive That pa**ion turned, so I sit alone Seeing your question of hate Pretending why I don't know Reading your message, debating How to reply, but it's [?] No more testing This will be my last goodbye To your hello