I don't want to be awake again I spend my days with my head in my hands If I go outside, I'll fall apart I am mostly scared by pa**ing time The world it seems gets more unkind Inevitable tragedies will soon be mine I am looking for an easy place To mask my thoughts behind my face Oh, brown baked column of victory Maybe I should just pack up and run away again And let you forget that you were once my friend And watch another go on and do better without me But I could not go away, not if I wanted to I can hide from friends, but I cannot hide from you These chemical reactions are dividing me Self-deprecating thoughts are interrupting all the time Emphasizing all the traits that I wish weren't mine They speak louder than everybody I try to keep my eyes closed as my outlook isn't bright Compulsively complaining when I haven't got the right I hate the way that I think and act I want to end reality but I feel hesitant Optimistic that the future will be more concerned than the present And so for today, I'll remain intact I don't want to be awake again I spend my days with my head in my hands If I go outside, I'll fall apart