Cretin - Walking a Midget lyrics

I own a happy midget—I walk him in the yard He's tethered to a leash—we don't go very far Stumpy arms and legs—prancing by my side He trains so hard—I promised him—one day we'd go outside Oh, my proud little man Summersaults and handstands Show me those silly midget tricks When I clap my hands—he jumps and does a flip I tell him that it's time—he shrieks and wets the floor When I attach his leash—he drags me to the door We will show the people—who used to laugh at you Just what a special midget—can be trained to do Oh, stubby dwarven friend My companion till the end Runs just as fast as he can Don't forget to flip—when I clap my hands Strutting down the street—he's on his brand new leash He tries to jump on people—I keep him out of reach All the people ask me—why I treat him wrong I tell them they did worse—then we sing our song "Happy little midget, running down the street Happy little midget, skip on stunted feet Walk my funny midget, watch him do his tricks" Then I clap my hands—he jumps and does a flip