Complex - Best Athlete Stoners of All-Time lyrics

25. Rohan Marley Sport: Football Career years: 1991-1995 Accolades: Led the Miami Hurricanes in tackles (95) during the 1993 season Like one of Bob Marley's sons wasn't making this list? Rohan, however, didn't follow in his father's musical footsteps. He actually started at linebacker at the University of Miami next to Ray Lewis, even leading the team in tackles one season. To further prove that he was far from a scrub (if you had any doubts), Lauryn Hill's former lover even balled out in the Canadian Football League for a bit. 24. Davone Bess Sport: Football Career years: 2008-Present Accolades: N/A Bess is the least accomplished professional athlete on this list, and isn't a great football player by any means. He's a scrub. But, in terms of converting his stoner lifestyle into social media posts, Bess is the GOAT. Outside of Michael Beasley and Standard Liege soccer player Frederic Bulot, Bess is the only pro who's posted weed pictures on social media. Not once, not twice, but THREE times. Bess just doesn't learn, which is probably why he's currently a free agent. 23. Michael Beasley Sport: Basketball Career years: 2008-Present Accolades: 2009 NBA All-Rookie First Team Since coming into the NBA, Beasley's been involved in four separate weed incidents. At the NBA's Rookie Transition Program in 2008, he was in a room with Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur when someone's pot smoking set off a fire alarm at 2 AM. In 2009, he checked into a rehab center after the above photo was posted to his Instagram, showing off a bit of weed on the table. Two years later, Beasley was pulled over for speeding. The officer reported that Beasley's car smelled of weed, but no d** were found after a search. Finally, in 2013, he was arrested in Arizona on suspicion of possession. Many athletes before him have been able to find plenty of success while using weed recreationally, but in Beasley's case, it appears that the former No. 2 overall pick's career has been upset by it. 22. J.R. Smith Sport: Basketball Career years: 2004-Present Accolades: 2013 Sixth Man of the Year Smith was the NBA's biggest suspected stoner until last summer, when he was suspended for five games for getting busted on an NBA drug test. Back in 2012, a photo of Smith in Miami popped up online, but nothing came from it. Weed heads are so reckless. 21. Lamar Odom Sport: Basketball Career years: 1999-Present Accolades: 2x NBA Champion, 2011 Sixth Man of the Year Before this former Kardashian was embattled in a drug and alcohol abuse scandal, Odom went over a decade between reports of drug use. He famously failed two drug tests in an eight-month span in 2001, testing positive for marijuana both times. Last fall, Odom went to rehab for one day after a DUI arrest and subsequent reports of addiction (no drug was specified, but betting against pot being one of, if not the only drug, would be foolish). He's now clean and a member of the Knicks, although J.R. Smith has proven that those two things aren't mutually exclusive. 20. Mark Stepnoski Sport: Football Career years: 1989-2001 Accolades: 2x Super Bowl Champion, 5x Pro Bowler, NFL 1990s All-Decade Team You, along with like 98 percent of your friends, probably support the legalization of marijuana. Cool, cool. Nice opinion. But will you do anything about it? Nah, probably not. After all, your dealer is your roommate and American youth generally feels powerless to enact change anyway. Stepnoski does not feel that way hombre. He's a member of NORML (National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws), and at one time, was the president of the Texas chapter of the organization. Disappointingly, his Catholic high school rescinded their nomination to elect him to their Hall of Fame because of his involvement in pro-pot activism, so he moved to Vancouver, Canada, the North American pot capital. Fair play, sir. 19. James Hunt Sport: Racing Career years: 1973-1979 Accolades: 1976 Formula One Champion, 10 Formula One Career wins James Hunt was the greatest rapper of the 1970s, or at least he lived like one. He was great at what he did, gave no f**s about anything except for living a hedonistic life, ingested every drug, and slept with every woman in sight. When asked about his weed use, Hunt provided a very stoner-rapper-ish quote: "I like it, it relaxes me." Well said. 18. Damon Stoudamire Sport: Basketball Career years: 1995-2008 Accolades: 1996 NBA Rookie of the Year Stoudamire and his penchant for smoking and getting caught made him the face of the Jail Blazer teams in the early-2000s. From 2002 to 2003, Stoudamire was arrested three times for possession, with each incident being stupider than the last. In 2002, police responded to a burglar alarm in his home, and found a baggie laying around. Dog, if you know the cops are coming, practice common sense 101: hide your sh** (a judge later declared the search illegal and cleared Stoudamire). That same year, he and Rasheed Wallace were pa**engers in a car that got pulled over for speeding—cops found pot in the car after a search. AGAIN, BRO? If you KNOW that cops are in your face, hide the green, or alternatively, don't smoke and speed. His third arrest came after he put a dub and a half in aluminum foil and tried to walk through an airport metal detector. What made him think that foil x weed x a metal detector would fly? Weed talks, I guess. 17. Tim Lincecum Sport: Baseball Career years: 2007-Present Accolades: 2x World Series Champion, 2x NL Cy Young Award, 4x MLB All-Star Let's see here: Lincecum is a long-haired, free-spirit who's from Washington, where recreational marijuana is legal. Back in 2009 though, Lincecum was picked up by police in Washington during a routine traffic stop after they found weed in his car. I-502, however, wasn't voted into law until 2012, meaning that Lincecum caught a charge for holding. Lincecum's offseasons back in Washington must be extra wavy though. Nice to see the kid from Dazed and Confused all grown up. 16. Ferguson Jenkins Sport: Baseball Career years: 1965-1983 Accolades: 1971 Cy Young Award Winner, 3x All-Star, 284 career wins One of the greatest players The Great White North has ever produced, Jenkins' drug bust naturally came while crossing the border. In 1980, he was arrested in Toronto with c**aine, hash, and pot in his possession. Major League Baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn, one of the league's most judicial commissioners (he famously banned Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle for doing advertisements for casinos) suspended Jenkins indefinitely. (Kuhn most definitely ga**ed himself.) In an unprecedented action, an independent arbitrator called BS on Kuhn's punishment and overturned the suspension. Turns out, all that "innocent until proven guilty" crap actually works sometimes. 15. Rasheed Wallace Sport: Basketball Career years: 1993-2013 Accolades: 2004 NBA Champion, 4x NBA All-Star The end result of Rasheed Wallace's 2002 citation for possession? A life-long a**ociation with the drug, the solidification of the "Jail Blazer" nickname for Sheed's Trailblazers, and the Sir Michael Rocks line, "I'm smoking like Rasheed...Wallace do." Other than that, it'd be hard to believe that Wallace was a stoner at all. He set the record for technical fouls in 2000-01 with 41 (so he certainly wasn't chill), and was a clever player with a high basketball IQ (not a deadbeat in the head either). Like most productive stoners though, Wallace probably liked to burn through a dub or two during post-game turn-down hours. 14. Stephon Marbury Sport: Basketball Career years: 1996-Present Accolades: 2x NBA All-Star, 2x All-NBA Third Team Marbury was an outspoken player during his NBA career (to say the least), so his weed admission in 2009 was always going to mirror that attitude. After a video of him smoking on camera appeared, he came clean. "I smoke marijuana. Yep, you saw me. I'm not under contract. I smoke weed occasionally. I'm not driving. I'm following the rules." Marbury was a free agent at the time, but this episode didn't stop him from signing with a Chinese pro team and later having a bronze statue emblazoned after his highness. 13. Carmelo Anthony Sport: Basketball Career years: 2003-Present Accolades: 7x NBA All-Star, 2x All-NBA Second Team, 4x All-NBA Third Team When Melo got caught with weed in his backpack in a Denver airport, there was no way he was taking the fall. Although the penalty in Colorado was only a $100 fine and no jail time, Anthony didn't want to risk having any offense on his record. In a cla**ic "you're my friend and I'm famous and can't take the charge, so you gotta take it" move, one of Anthony's friends signed an affidavit taking responsibility for the weed, claiming that he borrowed Anthony's backpack and mistakenly left his weed in it, exonerating Anthony of any knowledge of the weed. Two years later, marijuana was found in a car registered to Anthony. He wasn't driving or in the car at the time, so he faced no charges. They say your friends are a reflection of who you are, and if Anthony's a**ociates are regular smokers, then... well, you can figure the rest out. 12. Chris Webber Sport: Basketball Career years: 1991-2008 Accolades: 1991 Mr. Basketball of Michigan, Fab Five member, 5x NBA All-Star, 1994 Rookie of the Year For someone who was arrested while holding in 1998, he really could've used a toke to mellow out. During a traffic stop, Webber lost his cool and pushed a police officer, who then laced C-Webb's eyes with a fine line of pepper spray. Oh, and some pot was found in his car after he was taken in. A few months later, Webber was fined $500 by U.S. Customs after marijuana was found in his bag on a flight from Puerto Rico. He hasn't be caught with any sticky icky since, but that doesn't mean he's stopped smoking, of course. 11. Dock Ellis Sport: Baseball Career years: 1968-1979 Accolades: 1971 All-Star team, 1971 World Series champion, 1976 A.L. Comeback Player of the Year, No-Hitter thrown on 6/12/1970 Without marijuana, Ellis would've never become a baseball player. During his senior year in high school, he was caught smoking and drinking in the school bathroom. In exchange for not getting expelled, Ellis, the high school's star basketball player, agreed to play on the baseball team. From there, the rest is history. Ellis continued his heavy drug use into the Majors, famously pitching a no-hitter after a day of smoking, drinking, and taking LSD. Ellis' drug use proved to be problematic (he tried to pitch a game sober in 1973 and failed to recreate his mechanics. A shot of amphetamines later, he was good to go), but in retirement, he's cleaned up and become an addiction counselor. 10. Arnold Schwarzenegger Sport: Bodybuilding Career years: 1968-1980 Accolades: 1968 Mr. Universe, 7x Mr. Olympia (1970-1975, 1980) Mr. Schwarzenegger, you will forever be a hero in American's pro-pot movement. A world renowned bodybuilder/actor/governor and stoner, Schwarzenegger was in charge of California in 2011 when some very pro-pot legislation pa**ed. The penalty for carrying under an ounce (about the amount that non-drug dealers usually have on them at any given time) in California was reduced from a misdemeanor to an infraction, meaning that the only penalty would be a $100. No court date, no lawyers, no criminal record. Just a fine. Feel free to carry, Californians. 9. Robert Parish Sport: Basketball Career years: 1976-1997 Accolades: 4x NBA Champion, 9x NBA All-Star, 1982 All-NBA Second Team, 1989 All-NBA Third Team "The Chief," is a fitting nickname for a man on this list. He actually got the nickname after Chief Bromden, a silent Native American character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Parish's stoic demeanor made him "The Chief," but he also puffed hard, and like some stoners, remained quiet in his high. He was arrested in 1991 after police intercepted two ounces of pot being mailed to his home. His punishment? A $37 fine, which in today's market, couldn't get you an eighth. 8. Warren Sapp Sport: Football Career years: 1995-2007 Accolades: 7x Pro Bowler, 4x All-Pro, Super Bowl Champion, 1999 AP NFL Defensive Player of the Year, NFL 1990s All-Decade Team, NFL 2000s All-Decade Team Sapp's had a checkered past when it comes to pot, but he's been able to wriggle himself out of any formal charge either by the NFL or the law when he's been accused. He tested positive for c**aine and marijuana at the 1995 NFL combine, only he didn't. At least, that's what the NFL said regarding the drug test, stating that no c**aine was in the test, and that they wouldn't comment any further on the marijuana bit. Fair play, but any fool can read between those lines. When Sports Illustrated pressed Sapp on his alleged marijuana use, he said, "That's not me." Okay, but why did police find 12.7 grams of dope in his car two years later? It was “his friend's,” which a judge believed. Sapp was cleared on that defense, but again: any fool can read between those lines. 7. Michael Vick Sport: Football Career years: 2001-Present Accolades: 4x Pro Bowler, 2010 AP NFL Comeback Player of the Year, All-time NFL leading rusher for quarterbacks (5,219 yards) This may just be how Vick's face is shaped, but his eyes are perpetually low. Regardless, Vick does have a history with weed. In 2007, he allegedly tried to sneak a baggie through airport security via a hidden compartment in a water bottle. No weed was found in the bottle, however, and Vick wasn't charged. Feeling emboldened by his brush with the law, Vick went out and tested positive for THC nine months later, all while he was under investigation for dog fighting. Oops. 6. Ricky Williams Sport: Football Career years: 1999-2011 Accolades: 1998 Heisman Trophy, 2002 Pro Bowl, 2002 All-Pro, 2002 NFL Rushing Leader Williams may be the most infamous stoner in sports history. His career can't be discussed without the drug taking center, which is a shame and a beautiful thing at the same time. It's a shame, because his failed drug tests forced him to retire once, never allowing him to fully take advantage of his golden NFL ticket. His failures in the NFL are also a wonderful thing, because his time away from the game let Williams grow spiritually. There's no sense in being a great football player with riches and fame if you're miserable, and Williams needed the drug to find himself. That sounds lame to a knuckle-head, but it's the truth. ESPN's Run Ricky Run is basically an entire documentary about Williams and his connection to pot, among other things. But mostly pot. 5. Bill Walton Sport: Basketball Career years: 1974-1987 Accolades: 2x All-Star, 1978 NBA MVP, 2x NBA Champion, 2x NBA All-Star, 1978 All-NBA First Team, 1986 Sixth Man of the Year Growing up as a hippie-looking man in 1960s Southern California, there's a 1 in 1 chance that Walton smoked. An NBA player simply does not become this wild looking without the tree. He never had a positive drug test during his playing career and hasn't ever been scooped by the fuzz for pot, but let this exchange while calling during the Oregon-Washington game back in February serve as evidence: Walton: "We'll be up in Washington next week, looking forward to that continuation of the Super Bowl party." ESPN announcer: David Pasch: "We got three games next week, which means you can't stay in Washington, Bill." Recreational marijuana use is legal in Washington, if you didn't know. 4. Randy Moss Sport: Football Career years: 1998-2012 Accolades: 7x Pro Bowler, 4x All-Pro, 1998 AP NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year, 2003 NFC Player of the Year Out of all the athletes on this list, Moss has been one of the more candid players regarding his pot usage. In a 2005 interview with Bryant Gumbel, Moss kept it real: "I have used, you know, marijuana ... since I've been in the league." And there it is, from the horse's mouth. He has a legal history because of his habit too. In 1996, he s**ed through a joint before reporting to jail for a battery conviction, failed his in-jail drug test because of it, and was put in solitary confinement. Florida State kicked him out for that, but dude was going to the league anyway. Attending Marshall for two years would do. Moss failed a drug test in 2001 after testing positive for THC, but wasn't sanctioned. After two years of staying clean, he rotated out of the drug program, free to resume his blazing. 3. Allen Iverson Sport: Basketball Career years: 1996-2011 Accolades: 2001 NBA MVP, 11x All-Star, 2x All-Star Game MVP, 3x All-NBA First Team, 1997 Rookie of the Year, 4x Scoring Champion Given A.I.'s laid-back, too-cool-for-this-world swagger, it would be strange if he didn't smoke. Not that every cool person has to smoke weed, but for Iverson, the world-on and off the court seemed to move at a slower pace for him. Undoubtedly, his dabbling in the dro helped that. In 1997, a few months before the start of his soph*more season, he was picked up by Virginia cops on a possession of marijuana charge. Iverson's faced horrible problems with drinking and money in recent years, so let's hope that he's been able to relax a little with some pot. 2. Michael Phelps Sport: Swimming Career years: 2002-Present Accolades: 22 Olympic medals, 18 Gold medals, 39 world records Before this photo, Michael Phelps was just a regular-old all-time great athlete. As the most decorated Olympian ever, a certain image was a**igned to that title. One of discipline, strength, fortitude, and a lack of youthful indulgence. It made him above us. At the time of this bong rip, he was a 23-year-old with a lifetime of accomplishments. Post-rip, he's not only the greatest Olympian either, but also a real f**ing bro. Imagine Phelps' lung capacity! For productive stoners everywhere, Phelps is an inspiration. See! You can become the greatest ever at something and still be young and stupid and high at the same time! Phelps was brought down, but his accomplishments weren't. Even for Olympians, marijuana is a sweet indulgence. 1. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Sport: Basketball Career years: 1966-1989 Accolades: 6x NBA MVP, 6x NBA Champion, 19x NBA All-Star, NBA All-Time Scoring Leader (38,387 points) Kareem has a prescription to smoke up because of his life-long battle against intense migraines, but given that he played in L.A. during those Showtime years, how were migraines even a problem? Given all the wild, drug-infused parties thrown by late Lakers owner Jerry Buss and Magic Johnson, Kareem's '80s playing career should've been a daze, and one without migraines. He's been arrested twice on marijuana charges: once in 1998 for carrying six grams and again in 2000 for driving under the influence of the green. Thankfully, a modern liberal-minded electoral base has saved Kareem, as medical marijuana in California has allowed him to go on smoking without trouble.