College Humor - Gift Shop lyrics

Hey Macklemore, can we go gift shopping? What (x 16) Hey look, what is that by the exit (x 4) I'm gonna buy some crap I've got money burning in my pocket I - I'm a tourist at a museum Look at all these gemstones Nah, walk in the museum like 'What up, I need a pet rock' Forget exhibits, I need something from the gift shop Snack in a pouch looks so damn tasty Clerk is like, 'Dude, that's astronaut ice-cream' Trying on XL tees, playing with a light machine Look for key chains, hope they have my name, it's Eugene Wish I could buy all of it, slow globes, rain sticks Probably check the weather cause it sounds so precipitous... But sh**, it costs more than my rent! (Uh) Messin' it, pressin' it, these pins capture my expressions n' Throwing all those bouncy balls bouncing below the bargain bin This bird keeps on hydrating, it is drinking and bobbing; I am Spending all my money on some desk toys that use physics b**h I'mma buy a Newton's cradle, I'mma buy a Newton's cradle No for real - ask the lady - do you carry pendulums? Sci-fi noise tube, dinosaur stickers Tornado-in-a-bottle that I found spinning They had a tiny broadsword, I bought a tiny broadsword Bought a fossil trinket, and then a finger skateboard Hello, hello, candy-filled cell phone Magnets top to bottom on my fridge door, YOLO Walk up to the bin, scoop up a bag of gemstones The geode heads would be like, 'Aw, he got the Fools' Gold' I'm gonna get some snacks And a 'Big Kid's Guide to Pirates' I - I'm a tourist, at a museum I should buy a telescope What you know about rocking hats like Dave Crockett's What you know about scale-replica muskets I'm digging, I'm digging, I'm searching for the right puzzle Jigsaw art of a NASA Space Shuttle Buy your step-dad a Uran*s mouse-pad and a Sweat-shirt, plus a pot of seeds and some dirt I'm at the check-out, you can find me by the (koosh balls) I got, I got yelled at by the guy for throwing (koosh balls) For grammy, for aunty, for momma, for daddy I'll take some mugs for all my family, birthday gifts, I own that motherf**er A mammoth model with the bones in that motherf**er I got a beetle trapped in stone like a motherf**er They be like, 'Oh, that j**elery - that's hella tight' I'm like, 'Yo - it was made by local artisans' Limited edition craft by Indian tradition Fifty dollars for a pendant it supports the reserva-(tions) I bought that and this cool floaty pen (sh**) I bought that and this Young Scientist (Kit) That kit's hella dope But mixing acids without goggles or some gloves or supervision is a hella don't Peep game, come take a look through my kaleidoscope Tring to find gifts that are bland? Man you hella won't Man you hella won't Gift Shops Hoberman Spheres Yeah I wear a shirt with wolves And in the dark it glows All of this and more that's dope In that Gift Shop by the door