College Humor - Global Warming Rap Battle lyrics

[intro by a Sesame Street looking puppet] Ugh! This heat wave is unbearable! [Pat] Whoa there, bud Before you get your low degree on Maybe stop and think about How you're spendin free on AC's seem cool But they sap a lot of power And those ice caps Are getting smaller by the hour So if you want to "chill out" Here's a solid plan: Just crack that window Or buy a nice box fan Toss that AC Cause no offence, man But nothin feels cooler Than helping the enviro- [Murph] fu*k THAT! Crank this sh** Get the frigid air rippin' Screw the polar bears, dude My nuts got sweat drippin' It's hot as A Mofo Humid as A b**h I'm about to crank this sh** 'Till we get frost bit Install a wall-unit that can go Below sixty We're fresher in our sweaters so let's get this b**h nippy Convenient truth is AC is legit So the polar ice caps Can f**ing s** my dick [Pat] Stay smart In the summer Do your part In the summer We should all play nice; Lower lights (NAH MAN!) In the summer Conserve In the summer Preserve In the summer Don't need to drink beer Volunteer In the summer (fu*k THAT!) [Pat] Hold on now, bud Show some hesitation 'Cause you're only three miles From your destination A bicycle's a nice way to feel the breeze It's easy on your knees And the fuel is free! Stay hydrated with Mother Earth's potion H2O! It'll keep you in motion Helmet on Shorts hiked Ready to go On a summertime adventure To--Oh No! [Murph] fu*k YOU! It's too hot Don't bike like a dumba** Hop in my Hummer We can guzzle Supreme gas And if we make a stop When it's f**ing sunny We're gonna keep the car cool And leave the engine running Stay hydrated Drinkin 60 ounce Redbulls And when we're finished Throw 'em right out the window Littering's the bomb Cause that sh** so easy It's someone else's problem Yo that sh** so pleasy! [Murph] Get crunk In the summer Drive drunk In the summer Flick a cigarette bu*t in dry leaves In the summer (Pat: come on, man) Start a fire In the summer Burn a tire In the summer If you want to get girls k** squirrels In the summer (Pat: WHY?) [Pat] Summers like this I hope I'll see ya Takin a dip At the local marina [Murph] fu*kIN JET SKI Getting max speed I get a mile to the gallon Breaking coral reefs [Pat] No, please stop! Man, you're k**ing ocean Can't you have fun Without spreading destruction? [Murph] Don't knock it till you try it Have you ridden a jet ski? [Pat] I suppose that I haven't [Murph] Yo then get in the b**h seat [Pat] Oooooooh sh**tttttt [Pat] Oh my god This is great [Murph] Yeah I told you, son [Pat] Yeah, we're messing with the ozone And it's tons of fun [Murph] Jet skis for life man Yo, f** all the fishes [Pat] Who gives a sh** about carbon emissions Let's paint the ocean with manatee brains [Murph] Straight rockin up their domes Yo, this sh** is insane [Pat] Yeah we're k**ing the planet [Murph] But no need to dread [Pat] By the time the world ends [Together] We'll already be dead