College Humor - Anaconda (The Educational Version) lyrics

[Intro] The anaconda grow, the anaconda grow The anaconda grow up to a quarter ton, hun [Verse 1] The green anaconda lives in the Amazon-a And the Orinoco Rainforest in South America They live in swamps and marshes and slow-moving streams And they're the largest reptile when measured by weight Now they're real, real, real Eat pigs and birds and other reptiles And larger ones can even prey on tapirs And capybara and even small deer This is a dope snake By the way, seven days That's how often they need to have a meal Wrap around their prey and squeeze so hard to k** On land got no sk** but their swimming is trill Underwater concealed, but you see their nostrils Scientific name, Eunectes murinus In 1758 named by Carl Linneaus Sssssssss [Hook] Oh my gosh, thirty feet long Oh my gosh, primarily nocturnal Oh my gosh, found in Ecuador Found in Ecuador Found in, found in Ecuador [Verse 2] The male anaconda is a similar color But s**ual dimorphism means they're much smaller Mating in the rainy season from April to May Female laying down the pheromones to summon the mate And they bang, bang, bang Males come running and they competing Press they cloaca up against her thing Only the winner gets to copulate It's called a breeding ball By the way, the one who mates He ain't even going to live another day The female eats him and slithers away Digesting his body while making those eggs It's a long wait, half a year to gestate Ovoviviparous, give birth to live young Mm, by the way, they smell with their tongue Tongue-t-t-tongue-tongue-t-t-tongue-tongue... [Outro] Yeahhhhh! This one is for my thirty foot long snakes up in the zoo I said, where the fat a** snakes up in the zoo? f** the little snakes f** the little snakes in the zoo (f** 'em) f** you if you skinny snake, what?! Kyuh Hahahaha, sss sss sssss