Me and Harold Bumpert were outdoors men Set in our backwoods ways Both members of the huntin' club Both active in the NRA -Nation Redneck Association We scouted a location where we had no doubt We'd k** the biggest buck in the world-about a 34 pointer Harold waited in his tree stand but all he seen was a squirrel Dang near two weeks since the the season started and Neither one of us was amused We had a on real tree camo, high-powered ammo But no big game to shoot Then we finally saw a deer as big as a horse Harold had it in his cross-hairs But that squirrel jumped off a branch above us and Landed in Harold's hair Harold fell off the stand, on his head he landed Like a wimp he laid there he cried Till I climbed on down, picked him up off the ground And it didn't take us long to decide...that squirrel had to die HA ha ha ha ha ha ha Good-bye squirrel-with black-eyed peas Your gonna taste good to me-squirrel It's you or me Ha ha ha ha ha ha Come on out of that tree-squirrel Hey guess what-You've eaten your last nut-squirrel Me and Harold went down to the surplus store Bought a keg of dynomite Two baseball bats and a case of M80's We were in for one heck of a fight-we'll show you When your huntin' with dumb and dumber Somethings surely bound to go wrong-now be careful And when Harold lit that real short fuse I knew it wouldn't be long When the dynamite blew Harold's foot did too And fingers began to fly We were barely alive when the Game Warden 'rived And much to our suprise, that squirrel didn't die Ha ha ha ha ha ha Good-bye squirrel Just one more shot, you'll be in my crock pot-squirrel You'll make a lunch, you over grown chipmunk-squirrel I'll skin your hide And make a hat when it's dried-squirrel Hahahahaha......