Cledus T. Judd - 1-900-Sheila lyrics

He-he-he-he-he lets see here now...one...nine hunderd... Hm-hm-hm boy, I sure hope I get a purdy'n. Maybe she'll look like Terry Clark or Faith Hill or somebody. Hm, hope this ain't a party line. Here we go! Ha-ha. I's laid up 'na house watchin' C.M.T. Thought I'd have a late night snack So I headed to the kitchen on a commercial break When sup'm called me back It was the s**iest voice that I'd ever heard Comin' out of my television set Said, "Call now, you can hear me live And I'll tell ya 'bout my naughtiness." So without hesitation or further ado I grabbed a hold of my Visa And dialed the number flashin' on my screen 1-900-SHEILA You can tell it all to me I'm your phone fantasy 1-900-SHEILA ...Ohhhh man! Aaahh So I kicked back the recliner And on the second ring She whispered, "Hello. This is Sheila. Your credit card number, please." I said, "How much will it cost For this here trip to paradise?" She said, "You can't put a price on love" That's another $4.98 minute went bye After an hour of conversation She had me chewin' on the receiver Well, I worked up a sweat, I's out of breath Over 1-900-SHEILA You can tell it all to me I'm your phone fantasy 1-900-SHEILA Like a man possessed I dialed her number Mornin' noon and night And slowly but surely we fell in love As my phone bill shot out of sight After so many costly heart to hearts I just had to meet her face to face She wouldn't give me her home address So I had her number traced. He-he. Well, I thought it'd lead to a pa**ion palace Some penthouse in the sky And, I must admit I was a little let down When I found her in a double wide ...A double wide??? That beauty that I envisioned That goddess that drove me crazy Answered the door with a cigar in her mouth And weighin' in at over two eighty. He-he-ho! They say love conquers all, well I reckon it's true Even when it's for a fee We said I do, and now were one Though she makes two of me And she talks to me no charge Every time she takes a breather And I'll never have to work As long as all you jerks dial 1-900-SHEILA You can tell it all to me I'm your phone fantasy 1-900-SHEILA ...I love you baby. Come here to me. Smooch-smooch