Christy Moore - Bridget's Pill lyrics

Bridget O'Reilly was a fine looking girl Well, her skin was like ivory and her teeth shone like Pearls The fellas all chased her in vain til one day She went and got married to Barney O'Shea They'd been married a year, when to their pride and joy Along came a baby, a fine strapping boy When three years had past, they'd two boys and a girl How to feed them and clothe them made Bridget's head Whirl Bridget went to the priest, she was near desperation Because of this process of constant gestation O Father, this business is making me I'll Would it be a sin if I took to the Pill? The priest heard her story and when he had heard it To higher authorities, perplexed, he referred it The bishops were baffled, the cardinals too Not one could tell Bridget just what she should do Two years they debated with holy profundity What should be done about Bridget's fecundity For now Bridget's children amounted to five And she scarcely was able to keep them alive They gave due attention to points theological Points philosophic and physiological Til in desperation, the Pope cried, o sod There's just one thing to do, I'd best go and ask God So the Pope sent a letter by five penny post On Papal notepaper, addressed, Holy Ghost Come send me an answer in double quick time You can reach me at home, just ring vat 69 The Pope got his answer and then he announced it Oral contraception, he thoroughly denounced it All chemical means to prevent procreation Are banned on the pain or eternal damnation If we were to allow it, unashamed fornication Would spread like a flash to all parts of the nation There'd be plagues, fire, and famine and moral Pollution Atheistical notions and red revolution And the Lord knows what women would do with their lives If they weren't kept so busy as mothers and wives They might get ideas not befitting their station And wind up in women's or gay liberation So Bridget, my dear, there's no need for frustration Because of the banning of this medication The Church, she is merciful, holy, and gracious Surely the old rhythm method you'll find efficacious Away now, said Bridget, I'll have none of your row For I tried it before and just look at me now Whatever I did, we continued to breed And she's off to the chemists with maximum speed Now the Church is in ferment, in great trepidation Lest such thought should spread to the whole Congregation And they've issued a record to prevent a schism By the Pope and the Hierarchy, called, I've got rhythm