[Verse 1 - Chris Webby:] I get rowdy, rough, drunk, excited and amped On the table all night, I'm the beer pong champ Drink until my mothaf**in' liver gets cramps And I've lost everything within the pockets of my pants Like, “sh** where's my phone? Keys? sh**, who has my wallet?” “Dude, you probably lost it, you stupid alcoholic” Ha, f** you b**h, I weigh 160 So it only takes a few shots to get myself tipsy A few more then I'm drunk, then I move on to wasted Then black out, find me pa**ed out on the pavement Slurring every statement, vision getting blurry Sippin' 40's from four-forty to two-thirty I'm dirty, plus I ball like Michael Get wasted like plastic that isn't recycled I'm too fly, rhymin' it nice So drunk I could get a DUI on a bike Mix up the lime with a little coconut Takin' shots outta half-filled solo cups Get smashed like dropped pottery Probably couldn't walk a straight line If I had a f**in' cop watchin' me Walkin' into sh** like I couldn't avoid it Just lookin' for a girl, tryna' make some poor choices But whether I get laid or end up in a brawl I just blame it on the a-a-alcohol [Hook:] Cuz I'm drunk So do not play around with me cuz I'm drunk Somebody take away my keys cuz I'm drunk sh** I can barely even see I think it's time to make some bad decisions cuz I'm drunk [Verse 2 - Mic Galper:] I come through already blunted like flip cup, who want it? Twenty on the table son, I'm about to make a hundred You can make it rain but I'm 'bout to make it sunny That means I keep my money, buddy I'm not a dummy “Day and Night” it's the kid, lookin' for some Cudi Got my homie Chris Webby to make sure she ain't chubby Cause I drank a lot of bubbly, in the living room stumblin' Everybody lookin' lovely but I came here for the p**y I love to start beef son I can't control it Might wake up with missin' teeth like The Hangover I might wake up with a naked s*ut from Angola I don't know bro, I'm just saying I ain't stayin' sober So move over 'fore this fat b**h puts roofies in my cola Cool that's what I wanted wrestling sumo with polar Bear, beware when it's time to go upstairs f** a Trojan, got socks make sure you wear a pair [Hook:] Cuz I'm drunk So do not play around with me cuz I'm drunk Somebody take away my keys cuz I'm drunk sh** I can barely even see I think it's time to make some bad decisions cuz I'm drunk