Chas & Dave - Gertcha lyrics

Now there's a word that I don't understand I hear it every day from my old man It may be co*kney rhyming slang It ain't in no school book He says it every time that he gets mad A regular caution is my old dad Rub the old man up the wrong way, bet your life you'll hear him say Gertcha, cowson, gertcha Gertcha! When the kids are swinging on the gate Gertcha! When the paperboy's half an hour late Gertcha! When the pigeons are pecking at his seed Gertcha! When the barker (?) starts digging up his weeds (?) Gertcha! Gertcha, cowson, gertcha Bar stool preaching That's the old man's game! Now the old man was a Desert Rat Khaki shorts and a khaki hat How me mother could have fancied that I just don't know But when the enemy came in sight They gave up without a fight They rubbed him up the wrong way This is what they heard him say Gertcha, cowson, gertcha Gertcha! When me rock and roll records wake him up Gertcha! When the Poles knock England out of the cup Gertcha! When the kids are banging on his door Gertcha! When the barman won't serve him any more Gertcha, cowson, gertcha Bar stool preaching He's always been the same! (piano solo) Gertcha, cowson, gertcha Gertcha! When the dog's left a message on the step Gertcha! Lester Piggott, when he lost it by a neck Gertcha! When me brother kicks the toes out of his shoes Gertcha! When the houseflies are flying round his food Gertcha, cowson, gertcha Bar stool preaching He's always been the same! Gertcha! Gertcha! Gertcha! Gertcha! Gertcha! When me mother says he can't go down the pub Gertcha! Sister's boyfriend put his sister up the club Gertcha! When the tomcats, when they're kicking up a din Gertcha! Tottenham Hotspur couldn't get one in Gertcha! When me mother locks him out of the flat Gertcha! When it's raining and he can't find his hat Gertcha! In the mornings when his motorcar won't go Gertcha! Next-door neighbour, when he won't give him a tow Gertcha! Gertcha! Gertcha! Gertcha!