Charles Hodges - The Sideboard Song (Got My Beer In the Sideboard Here) lyrics

[Verse 1: Dave] Mother phoned up last night she was going spare She was in a temper pulling out her hair "Your sister's courtin' a scruffy looking Ted Father don't give a monkey's and this is what he said" [Chorus] "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care if he comes round here I got my beer in the sideboard here let mother sort it out If he comes round here" [Verse 2: Chas] I said to me mother let me have a talk to dad So he comes to the telephone, he wasn't half mad Says "Shes got no sense the silly little cow And if he comes round here there's gonna be a row!" [Chorus] x2 [Verse 3: Dave] "I'll tell you something else an' all he's never got a job He hangs around the betting shop the lazy little yob" Mother says "Calm down dad he's alright They're out there snogging in the pa**age all night" [Chorus] x2 [Verse 4: Chas] "Think he was a tramp with a stubble on his chin; He looks like something that the cats brought in Never got no money, smokes all my f*gs Got holes in his soles and he's hanging in rags!" [Verse 5: Dave] On top of that he says "I tell you why I got the hump She had a skinny little belly now its sticking out the front There's nothing seems to fit her she's a running out of clothes If he thinks he's takin' liberties I'll punch him on the nose!" [Chorus variation] [Piano Solo] [Acapella dual Chorus] [Chorus till Fade] x 6