Charles Heron Wall - The Miser (Act 5 Scene 2) lyrics

SCENE II.——HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES. JAC. (at the end of the stage, turning back to the door by which he came in). I am coming back. Have his throat cut at once; have his feet singed; put him in boiling water, and hang him up to the ceiling. HAR. What! Him who has robbed me? JAC. I was speaking of a s**ing pig that your steward has just sent me; and I want to have it dressed for you after my own fancy. HAR. This is no longer the question; and you have to speak of something else to this gentleman. OFF. (to Jacques). Don't get frightened. I am not a man to cause any scandal, and matters will be carried on by gentle means. JAC. (to Harpagon). Is this gentleman coming to supper with you? OFF. You must, in this case, my good man, hide nothing from your master. JAC. Indeed, Sir, I will show you all I know, and will treat you in the best manner I possibly can. OFF. That's not the question. JAC. If I do not give as good fare as I should like, it is the fault of your steward, who has clipped my wings with the scissors of his economy. HAR. R ascal! We have other matters to talk about than your supper; and I want you to tell me what has become of the money which has been stolen from me. JAC. Some money has been stolen from you? HAR. Yes, you rascal! And I'll have you hanged if you don't give it me back again. OFF. (to Harpagon). Pray, don't be hard upon him. I see by his looks that he is an honest fellow, and that he will tell you all you want to know without going to prison. Yes, my friend, if you confess, no harm shall come to you, and you shall be well rewarded by your master. Some money has been stolen from him, and it is not possible that you know nothing about it. JAC. (aside). The very thing I wanted in order to be revenged of our steward. Ever since he came here, he has been the favourite, and his advice is the only one listened to. Moreover, I have forgotten neither the cudgelling of to-day nor … HAR. What are you muttering about there? OFF. (to Harpagon). Leave him alone. He is preparing himself to satisfy you; I told you that he was an honest fellow. JAC. Sir, since you want me to tell you what I know, I believe it is your steward who has done this. HAR. Valère? JAC. Yes. HAR. He who seemed so faithful to me! JAC. Himself. I believe that it is he who has robbed you. HAR. And what makes you believe it? JAC. What makes me believe it? HAR. Yes. JAC. I believe it … because I believe it. OFF. But you must tell us the proofs you have. HAR. Did you see him hanging about the place where I had put my money? JAC. Yes, indeed. Where was your money? HAR. In the garden. JAC. Exactly; I saw him loitering about in the garden; and in what was your money? HAR. In a casket. JAC. The very thing. I saw him with a casket. HAR. And this casket, what was it like? I shall soon see if it is mine. JAC. What it was like? HAR. Yes. JAC. It was like … like a casket. OFF. Of course. But describe it a little, to see if it is the same. JAC. It was a large casket. HAR. The one taken from me is a small one. JAC. Yes, small if you look at it in that way; but I call it large because of what it contains. HAR. And what colour was it? JAC. What colour? OFF. Yes. JAC. Of a colour … of a certain colour…. Can't you help me to find the word? HAR. Ugh! JAC. Red; isn't it? HAR. No, grey. JAC. Ha! yes, reddish-grey! That's what I meant. HAR. There is no doubt about it, it's my casket for certain. Write down his evidence, Sir! Heavens! whom can we trust after that? We must never swear to anything, and I believe now that I might rob my own self. JAC. (to Harpagon). There he is coming back, Sir; I beg of you not to go and tell him that it was I who let it all out, Sir.