Charles Heron Wall - The Impostures of Scapin (Act 2 Scene 11) lyrics

GÉRONTE, SCAPIN. SCA (affecting not to see GÉRONTE). O Heaven! O unforeseen misfortune! O unfortunate father! Poor Géronte, what will you do? GER (aside). What is he saying there with that doleful face? SCA Can no one tell me whereto find Mr. Géronte? GER What is the matter, Scapin? SCA (running about on the stage, and still affecting not to see or hear GÉRONTE). Where could I meet him, to tell him of this misfortune? GER (stopping SCAPIN). What is the matter? SCA (as before). In vain I run everywhere to meet him. I cannot find him. GER Here I am. SCA (as before). He must have hidden himself in some place which nobody can guess. GER (stopping SCAPIN again). Ho! I say, are you blind? Can't you see me? SCA Ah! Sir, it is impossible to find you. GER I have been near you for the last half-hour. What is it all about? SCA Sir.... GER Well! SCA Your son, Sir.... GER Well! My son.... SCA Has met with the strangest misfortune you ever heard of. GER What is it? SCA This afternoon I found him looking very sad about something which you had said to him, and in which you had very improperly mixed my name. While trying: to dissipate his sorrow, we went and walked about in the harbour. There, among other things, was to be seen a Turkish galley. A young Turk, with a gentlemanly look about him, invited us to go in, and held out his hand to us. We went in. He was most civil to us; gave us some lunch, with the most excellent fruit and the best wine you have ever seen. GER What is there so sad about all this? SCA Wait a little; it is coming. Whilst we were eating, the galley left the harbour, and when in the open sea, the Turk made me go down into a boat, and sent me to tell you that unless you sent by me five hundred crowns, he would take your son prisoner to Algiers. GER What! five hundred crowns! SCA Yes, Sir; and, moreover, he only gave me two hours to find them in. GER Ah! the scoundrel of a Turk to murder me in that fashion! SCA It is for you, Sir, to see quickly about the means of saving from slavery a son whom you love so tenderly. GER What the deuce did he want to go in that galley for? {Footnote: Que diable allait-il faire dans cette galère? This sentence has become established in the language with the meaning, "Whatever business had he there?"} SCA He had no idea of what would happen. GER Go, Scapin, go quickly, and tell that Turk that I shall send the police after him. SCA The police in the open sea! Are you joking? GER What the deuce did he want to go in that galley for? SCA A cruel destiny will sometimes lead people. GER Listen, Scapin; you must act in this the part of a faithful servant. SCA How, Sir? GER You must go and tell that Turk that he must send me back my son, and that you will take his place until I have found the sum he asks. SCA Ah! Sir; do you know what you are saying? and do you fancy that that Turk will be foolish enough to receive a poor wretch like me in your son's stead? GER What the deuce did he want to go in that galley for? SCA He could not foresee his misfortune. However, Sir, remember that he has given me only two hours. GER You say that he asks.... SCA Five hundred crowns. GER Five hundred crowns! Has he no conscience? SCA Ah! ah! Conscience in a Turk! GER Does he understand what five hundred crowns are? SCA Yes, Sir, he knows that five hundred crowns are one thousand five hundred francs. {Footnote: The écu stands usually for petit écu, which equalled three franks. "Crown," employed in a general sense, seems the only translation possible.} GER Does the scoundrel think that one thousand five hundred francs are to be found in the gutter? SCA Such people will never listen to reason. GER But what the deuce did he want to go in that galley for? SCA Ah! what a waste of words! Leave the galley alone; remember that time presses, and that you are running the risk of losing your son for ever. Alas! my poor master, perhaps I shall never see you again, and that at this very moment, whilst I am speaking to you, they are taking you away to make a slave of you in Algiers! But Heaven is my witness that I did all I could, and that, if you are not brought back, it is all owing to the want of love of your father. GER Wait a minute, Scapin; I will go and fetch that sum of money. SCA Be quick, then, for I am afraid of not being in time. GER You said four hundred crowns; did you not? SCA No, five hundred crowns. GER Five hundred crowns! SCA Yes. GER What the deuce did he want to go in that galley for? SCA Quite right, but be quick. GER Could he not have chosen another walk? SCA It is true; but act promptly. GER Cursed galley! SCA (aside) That galley sticks in his throat. GER Here, Scapin; I had forgotten that I have just received this sum in gold, and I had no idea it would so soon be wrenched from me. (Taking his purse out of his pocket, and making as if he were giving it to SCAPIN.) But mind you tell that Turk that he is a scoundrel. SCA (holding out his hand). Yes. GER (as above). An infamous wretch. SCA (still holding out his hand). Yes. GER (as above). A man without conscience, a thief. SCA Leave that to me. GER (as above). That.... SCA All right. GER (as above). And that, if ever I catch him, he will pay for it. SCA Yes. GER (putting back the purse in his pocket). Go, go quickly, and fetch my son. SCA (running after him). Hallo! Sir. GER Well? SCA And the money? GER Did I not give it to you? SCA No, indeed, you put it back in pour pocket. GER Ah! it is grief which troubles my mind. SCA So I see. GER What the deuce did he want to go in that galley for? Ah! cursed galley! Scoundrel of a Turk! May the devil take you! SCAPIN (alone) He can't get over the five hundred crowns I wrench from him; but he has not yet done with me, and I will make him pay in a different money his imposture about me to his son.