Charles Heron Wall - The Impostures of Scapin (Act 1 Scene 6) lyrics

ARGANTE, SCAPIN, SILVESTRE (at the further part of thestage). ARG (thinking himself alone). Did anyone ever hear of such an action? SCA (to SILVESTRE). He has already heard of the affair, and is so struck by it that, although alone, he speaks aloud about it. ARG (thinking himself alone). Such a bold thing to do. SCA (to SILVESTRE). Let us listen to him. ARG (thinking himself alone). I should like to know what they can say to me about this fine marriage. SCA (aside). We have it all ready. ARG (thinking himself alone). Will they try to deny it? SCA (aside). No: we have no thought of doing so. ARG (thinking himself alone). Or will they undertake to excuse it? SCA (aside). That may be. ARG (thinking himself alone). Do they intend to deceive me with impertinent stories? SCA (aside). May be. ARG (thinking himself alone). All they can say will be useless. SCA We shall see. ARG (thinking himself alone). They will not take me in. SCA (aside). I don't know that. ARG (thinking himself alone). I shall know how to put my rascal of a son in a safe place. SCA (aside). We shall see about that. ARG (thinking himself alone). And as for that rascal Silvestre, I will cudgel him soundly. SIL (to SCAPIN). I should have been very much astonished if he had forgotten me. ARG (seeing SILVESTRE). Ah, ah! here you are, most wise governor of a family, fine director of young people! SCA Sir, I am delighted to see you back. ARG Good morning, Scapin. (To SILVESTRE) You have really followed my orders in a fine manner, and my son has behaved splendidly. SCA You are quite well, I see. ARG Pretty well. (To SILVESTRE) You don't say a word, you rascal! SCA Have you had a pleasant journey? ARG Yes, yes, very good. Leave me alone a little to scold this villain! SCA You want to scold? ARG Yes, I wish to scold. SCA But whom, Sir? ARG (Pointing to SILVESTRE). This scoundrel! SCA Why? ARG Have you not heard what has taken place during my absence? SCA Yes, I have heard some trifling thing. ARG How! Some trifling thing! Such an action as this? SCA You are about right. ARG Such a daring thing to do! SCA That's quite true. ARG To marry without his father's consent! SCA Yes, there is something to be said against it, but my opinion is that you should make no fuss about it. ARG This is your opinion, but not mine; and I will make as much fuss as I please. What! do you not think that I have every reason to be angry? SCA Quite so. I was angry myself when I first heard it; and I so far felt interested in your behalf that I rated your son well. Just ask him the fine sermons I gave him, and how I lectured him about the little respect he showed his father, whose very footsteps he ought to kiss. You could not yourself talk better to him. But what of that? I submitted to reason, and considered that, after all, he had done nothing so dreadful. ARG What are you telling me? He has done nothing so dreadful? When he goes and marries straight off a perfect stranger? SCA What can one do? he was urged to it by his destiny. ARG Oh, oh! You give me there a fine reason. One has nothing better to do now than to commit the greatest crime imaginable—to cheat, steal, and murder—and give for an excuse that we were urged to it by destiny. SCA Ah me! You take my words too much like a philosopher. I mean to say that he was fatally engaged in this affair. ARG And why did he engage in it? SCA Do you expect him to be as wise as you are? Can you put an old head on young shoulders, and expect young people to have all the prudence necessary to do nothing but what is reasonable? Just look at our Léandre, who, in spite of all my lessons, has done even worse than that. I should like to know whether you yourself were not young once, and have not played as many pranks as others? I have heard say that you were a sad fellow in your time, that you played the gallant among the most gallant of those days, and that you never gave in until you had gained your point. ARG It is true, I grant it; but I always confined myself to gallantry, and never went so far as to do what he has done. SCA But what was he to do? He sees a young person who wishes him well; for he inherits it from you that all women love him. He thinks her charming, goes to see her, makes love to her, sighs as lovers sigh, and does the pa**ionate swain. She yields to his pressing visits; he pushes his fortune. But her relations catch him with her, and oblige him to marry her by main force. SIL (aside). What a clever cheat! SCA Would you have him suffer them to murder him? It is still better to be married than to be dead. ARG I was not told that the thing had happened in that way. SCA (showing SILVESTRE). Ask him, if you like; he will tell you the same thing. ARG (to SILVESTRE). Was he married against his wish? SIL Yes, Sir. SCA Do you think I would tell you an untruth? ARG Then he should have gone at once to a lawyer to protest against the violence. SCA It is the very thing he would not do. ARG It would have made it easier for me to break off the marriage. SCA Break off the marriage? ARG Yes SCA You will not break it off. ARG I shall not break it off? SCA No. ARG What! Have I not on my side the rights of a father, and can I not have satisfaction for the violence done to my son? SCA This is a thing he will not consent to. ARG He will not consent to it? SCA No. ARG My son? SCA Your son. Would you have him acknowledge that he was frightened, and that he yielded by force to what was wanted of him? He will take care not to confess that; it would be to wrong himself, and show himself unworthy of a father like you. ARG I don't care for all that. SCA He must, for his own honour and yours, say that he married of his own free will. ARG And I wish for my own honour, and for his, that he should say the contrary. SCA I am sure he will not do that. ARG I shall soon make him do it. SCA He will not acknowledge it, I tell you. ARG He shall do it, or I will disinherit him. SCA You? ARG I. SCA Nonsense! ARG How nonsense? SCA You will not disinherit him. ARG I shall not disinherit him? SCA No. ARG No? SCA No. ARG Well! This is really too much! I shall not disinherit my son! SCA No, I tell you. ARG Who will hinder me? SCA You yourself. ARG I? SCA Yes; you will never have the heart to do it. ARG I shall have the heart. SCA You are joking. ARG I am not joking. SCA Paternal love will carry the day. ARG No, it will not. SCA Yes, yes. ARG I tell you that I will disinherit him. SCA Rubbish. ARG You may say rubbish; but I will. SCA Gracious me, I know that you are naturally a kind-hearted man. ARG No, I am not kind-hearted; I can be angry when I choose. Leave off talking; you put me out of all patience. (To SYLVESTRE) Go, you rascal, run and fetch my son, while I go to Mr. Géronte and tell him of my misfortune. SCA Sir, if I can be useful to you in any way, you have but to order me. ARG I thank you. (Aside) Ah! Why is he my only son? Oh! that I had with me the daughter that Heaven has taken away from me, so that I might make her my heir.