Celph Titled - Mischievous lyrics

Every time I leave my house, pork patrol wanna seek me out Did I see it, did I do it? C'mon down to the station house Chase me down, "Hey, how's that high?" Shine the flashlight around my eyes Every time some coward cries They doubt that I have an alibi [Verse 1] It's bizarre how I got a disregard for prison bars But it isn't hard to see why I hate the mainstream And daydream of beating Dave Matthews with his guitar I live to scar you with a lit cigar If I miss the charts, I'll put a mailbomb in your Christmas card Cause you're jealous of the fact that I'm blowing up and you're envious at heart My true intentions are cruel intentions, new ways to hurt you with new inventions You figure you're a star, I'll hit you with a car and flatten you down to 2 dimensions You want me to be non-violent? It's only gonna happen on a day that I'm silent Which isn't too often, cause I can't be sober til' you're standing over Lou's coffin Any other time I got a beer in my hand and mysterious plans to put fear in your fam' And so degenerates cheer for the champ of born losers, hero to weirdos and p**n users My three last shows, were fiascoes This dude came up like, "Yo, you see that Ho?" "I dare you to grab her a**" So I grabbed her snatch and had a fight with these three a**holes Now I'm mad at that and there's an APB The cops kicked my a** when they came for me, like they hold a grudge So I stood up in the courtroom and told the judge I got A.D.D [Chorus] I'm mischievous, I make people want to slit their wrists A whole lot of parents and critics is all pissed at this But they missed the gist, it's just fictitious I'm mischievous, my songs make kids wanna slit their wrists And now a lot of critics and parents is all mad at this I need clearances to make appearances Warning, take caution, keep out of children's reach Cause I spill a speech of bad will to teach And let the psychos fill the streets A lot of criminals wanna k** police, steal the keys and set the villains free You better listen kids cause I'm mischievous, so keep out of children's reach [Verse 2] (Oh no!) I'ma ruin your whole show, stumble on the stage drunk moving in slow-mo Cause you wouldn't know dope, even if you would've sold coke or tried to steal Louis' whole flow Folks now better than to try and diss I'll put you in a choke-hold, I'm childish I'll poke holes in your car tires with my bare hands and sharpened appliances Cause I'm a product of my environment, so I can't be blamed if my rhymes are violent Cause every time I'm in silence, asleep, sick thoughts creep in behind my eyelids Rhymes aside skip the dissin' nonsense, we about to have a real pissin' contest You think I wouldn't let my pee soak your every seam till you weigh as much as Heavy D? It's a fact misery loves company, and lung disease would work wonderfully So I teach little kids to smoke, sh** it's just a joke and it sounds like fun to me It's as easy as 1,2,3 Come on up to the roof and then jump with me And when they scrape you up from the street, instead of doing dirt, you'll be buried underneath From the kids in the projects robbing stores, to the burbs where they steal from the shopping malls It ain't a MC who don't respect me, so don't get testy Y'all haven't got the balls [Chorus] I'm mischievous, I make people want to slit their wrists A whole lot of parents and critics is all pissed at this But they missed the gist, it's just fictitious I'm mischievous, my songs make kids wanna slit their wrists And now a lot of critics and parents is all mad at this I need clearances to make appearances Warning, take caution, keep out of children's reach Cause I spill a speech of bad will to teach And let the psychos fill the streets A lot of criminals wanna k** police, steal the keys and set the villains free You better listen kids cause I'm mischievous, so keep out of children's reach [Verse 3] When you're slumping guys till ya lump they eyes Up to a pumpkin's size they're like, "Oh no!" A whole lot of husbands would give me a snuffing if they knew who I'm f**ing like, "Oh no!" If you drank so much that you don't react to an oak-wood bat across your bony back And wake up, looking in your wallet and you don't see jack it's like, "Oh no!" Every time I leave my house, pork patrol want to seek me out Did I see it, did I do it? Come on down to the station house Chase me down, "Hey, how's that high?" Shine the flashlight around my eyes Every time some coward cries They doubt that I have an alibi