What the hell is wrong with me? I'm not who I want to be I tried spot cream an' I tried it all I'm crawlin' up the wall What's my name? Name Name I tried to join a ping-pong club Sign on the door said "All full up" I got nicked, fightin' in the road And the judge didn't even know (Chorus) Dad got pissed so I got clocked Couldn't hear the Tannoy so he lost the lot Offers Mum a bribe through the letter box Drives you f**ing mad Now I'm round the back of your house at night Peepin' in the window, are you sleepin' tight? I laugh at your locks with my celloid strip And you won't know who came (Chorus x2)