Caz Cray - Pursuit of Whatever lyrics

[Verse 1: ContakZ] Yo, I'll fight for what I want until my dying breath And I got nothin left, so I can't hide, I don't know what's next And part of me's scared, but a greater part is prideful Tell me that I can't, and I will just to spite you Despite you, who told me that I was bound to fail And when I didn't you said that I was movin' like a snail And I agree, but you know when turbo hit the scene I will pick it up faster than all of you ba*tards who told me this was just a dream Listen, insomniac up all night Writin' lyrics on a pad 'til God closes my eyes Feelin fear, I suddenly realize That the only enemy I got is trapped inside my mind But it's a fine line across between genius and insanity Crossin it daily has caused me to hate my energy Outstandingly, it's amazing how I choose to handle things Considering a couple years ago, I was ending things I know that I am crazy, thoughts steady racing, pacin' back and forth in my room They tried to change me But I'm the same Z, in pursuit of whatever, still gettin better Never losing faith, because she taught me better Whether the weather is rain, shine, no matter I still grind for better or worse I'll never give up, it hurts I'll never let up, and purposely I'd rather die Fighting for a dream I chase to have a better life Instead of working nine to five, cookie cutting till the end of time I'm just explaining my choice in rhyme fine I'm in pursuit of whatever, I glimpse in my mind I got a gift, and they took my lifeline [Hook: ContakZ] In pursuit of whatever I got a dream that's gonna make it all better In pursuit of whatever I got a dream and it's gon make it all better [Verse 2: Caz Cray] I'm not sure what I want but I'm sick of the same The lifestyle that I'm living got me yearning for change Now I'm plotting my escape to get away from the rain And I'm praying for my break so I can stray from the pain Im lookin' up to God so he can show me the way And I ask Him for guidance so I can see better days When I finally make it I know I'll give Him the praise And if I die before I wake, I beg him my soul to take Cuz I'm tired of the struggle, sick of working these late nights Barely making rent, yo I know that this ain't right This ain't life, at least not the one I envision So I'm tryna find my light with the gift I was given But it's tough when they see me as primitive And they talkin down on me, like I'm some kind of idiot But deep inside, I know that my time is imminent My only concern should be how I'm gonna get to it But sometimes, the words never come to me Sometimes I fail to be the person that I want to be Sometimes, the demon inside of me loves company So sometimes, I hurt the same people thats showing love to me And I feel an apology ain't sufficient So I hide behind my pride, and act as if I'm indifferent When honestly on the inside I'm wishin That they look beyond my sins, and that I can be forgiven Its a given that failure just ain't an option That I can afford to take, honestly, neither is stoppin' I'm in pursuit of whatever, so to everybody watchin' I promise you that my name won't ever be forgotten