Caustic (Battle Rapper) - Jefferson Price vs Caustic lyrics

[Round 1: Jefferson Price] So I'm up on the big stage, on my international steez That's a long time coming so congratulations to me Only took 15 battles I've had in this league It's about f**ing time Eurgh, I was getting a cramp in my knees So it's a battle that no one wanted, haha, let's try to make it a cla**ic Cause Mr. I Don't Take A Challenge, finally takes a challenge But if you thinking of repeating that performance from last time You're gonna need more than a border to stop you from Flatline This f**ing [?] got denied from Toronto on weapons charges You ain't trying to k** nothing You a big puff, you softer than pill popping with Phil Collins He thinks he's on the edge and loving virtue like an extreme Casablanca But he just sat in the corner gerning like Hector Salamanca So what? We supposed to believe you f**ing Rambo holding chrome there, please Tell me you throwing AK's over them shoulder blades, I'm like, "Bro don't make me crazy." Just cause you can't fill in simple paper work, don't blame me He could be Diggin' In The Crates he still wouldn't show A.G Plus the last time you were in London your b**h didn't know where she was staying or splitting Plus I heard your boy Stacks got married, it's a f**ing shame that he did it Least now that crew that you repping has a name that is fitting Team Hockey, perfect, you just get played by women And you can s** a ten inch long dick if you think I'm backing [?] a co*k steak You more likely see an Al-Qaeda rapper [?] You more likely see Jim Halpert from out of The Office Welcoming Julian Assange to the House Of Commons But like every MC that steps to me, he'll say it's a blessing he accepted me See I should be indebted that you would ever spend a second to set this test for me But getting on a jet from the west is an eleven hour step at least And that's exceptional measure to level with someone not worth a breath you breathe So whatever B, if it's clever schemes you telling me then you set yourself up for Jeopardy I'm Jeffy P, the general of Germany smelling of gelling cream That's why I hedge bets he'd never suspect, I'll sever deez I'm from the 70's that's why my side parting and quick styling For women [?] collecting C's I mean You're about [?] blatant intelligence and working these battles leagues As I am for well...stage presence and personality You've been on that same soap box since '09 and I still find it obnoxious You're inclined to critique blindly with no real kind of options I mean they tell you you have ill lines so how can you k** time and props when You don't know if you're the black or white in the Ill Mind Of Hopsin [Round 1: Caustic] I said comparing me to Walter Salamanca is just lame Cause if you ever hustled a day in your life you'd know that's just part of the game Heard your girl calls you dick "Breaking Bad" cause you got a small business crank So she hid you from her family like Walt did to Hank I said I'm back in London You don't even gotta ask why All I know is this skinny motherf**er right here better act right Oh you Jefferson right? You don't wanna be that guy Motherf**er about to get raped in front of everybody he knows...yep, that guy If he wins this battle, he's gonna celebrate Act like a total f*ggot If I win this battle...who gives a sh** that's what's suppose to happen I was sitting in baggage claim and it dawned on me that there's no way this man is straight I mean, goddamn, you're gay you act like such a f**ing f*ggot J You're what would happen if gay dudes could have babies the old fashioned way I said I bet you didn't know that I know that you used to be called "Digga" But nah Digga when I start busting rhymes (Busta Rhymes) you lost Digga Don't make me Flipmodes to prove that you all filler Just cause you rap like a b**h don't mean that you raw (Rah) Digga I said he can't f** his fat lady cause his little dick be slipping out It's funny that they call you "Digga" when you can't properly dig her out He's insecure about his dick so he constantly lives in doubt His girl's p**y is like the White House No Bush and there's a black guy in it now I said every time she sees a black dude she gets moist Plus that p**y holes deeper than Dekay's voice Yo I will grab your bird and f** the hole in her face Then afterwards be like, "Check it ho I need space." The b**h had the nerve to tell me she loved me, like 30 times I said, "b**h I need space" like Mr. 13's eyes I'm a Street Fighter like Sonny Chiba, dragon that don't die I'll E Honda slap him, I'll smack him on both eyes Hadouken flash, kick him, I'll f**ing tacking him to clothes lines Zangief pile driver be cracking your whole spine My defense style is Guile so I take no damage from those lines He starts talking stupid, I sonic boom him, I've been holding back the whole time [Round 2: Jefferson Price] Yo, you wanted to battle Mark Grist, try to jump on that band wagon But I doubt you'd see two million views from Teacher vs Random Snap Back f*ggot You can say sh** about me and my outfit, that's okay I don't mind Cause it just looks like you just clothes lined Jim Jones' clothesline sh**, you can walk around like you a legend but over here they hardly know ya He basically makes up a large part of the quota of every half a**ed Obama voter from Nantucket to Calistoga Type to think cause they got a black president that America's forward thinking But matter of fact you was posh, fat and a woman so...one-nill to England When I first seen Caustic I thought he was dead girl in a [?] Cause you so pale bro you probably get rain stroke sh**, you can even go ahead and flip that and say my pastiness is more than you But you live in California so what the f** is your excuse? Ah f** it, you can hit me with said angles, you know you're clashing DF's geriatric Nah f*ggot, you clashing Tom Petty's section in [?] That black and white is well documented Watch me end it badly, have him living in Discworld off Good Omens like Terry Pratchett But I ain't a fighter, so my writing is the left that landed My pen it dances, the devil next to the men it catches My set is Ca**ius, soon as my stepping active Leave him weaved back and forth like a Mexican blanket In case you didn't know Daniel is a proud Italian Mother pa** the salsa so illy She mixing that tomato and garlic with home chilli But of Yankee Italians who never go to Italy So say you ball, you get the foot like [?] Plus I had this whole thing when I was gonna say he was Italian with a Jew nose but he be like, "Don't give me that please." I was gonna say like, "I know Joey Tribbiani so are you Joey Tribbianstein? But he be like, "More f**ing nose jokes" yeah we all know it's f**ed Well then he said he was a west coast vet, I said, "Yeah like Nate Dogg. You only known for the hook." [Round 2: Caustic] That's it? Oh sh** You make fun of my f**ing hat you idiot, you can s** my f**ing balls Cause if I'm not mistaken your girl is the fat f**ing b**h with the snap back up against the wall I said, I don't gotta brag about my gun charge, that's be breaking the code J I don't gotta tell these people I got sentenced to seven years for hustling c**aine I mean I don't even gotta give you the rest of this propane But I will talk about my dick cause you can f**ing s** the whole thing Are you kidding me? This is supposed to be this big beast of a writer? I haven't heard a verse that wack since Chipmunk did the B.E.T. Cypher Yo Eurgh, I apologize for the Deffinition battle bro I wasn't coming prepared But honestly, I only took that battle to f** Holly Halston and the f**ing b**h wasn't even there It's like he's pissed off about religion He f**ing got resentments because all the Christians at Jeff's church used to show Jefferson love I mean, why would you bring up Jesus when nobody mentioned it once Okay we get it, God's not real, but the priest that molested you was All that pseudo intellect bullsh** ain't gonna fool us Plus this dumb f*ggot paid for my flight cause he thought it'd be a good way to get his views up Yo, you wanna walk a mile in my shoes, then start lacing your boots up But this crowd is tough as leather, they will not be suede/swayed by some new buck/nubuck Public service announcement Brushing your teeth is just something that you have to do It's not okay to have morning breath this late in the afternoon Your mouth smells like you've been eating H-Bomb p**y That sh**'s f**ing foul inside Somebody find this man some formaldehyde Or whatever the f** climbed inside your mouth and died If this is son's/suns time to shine then I'm a solar eclipse If this is his jump to top tier then I hope you eat sh** Your motherf**ing face looks like an aborted fetus And your body's the coat hanger they scraped out the ovaries with You little bony weak b**h Your body's built like the string of a tampon And congratulations on making an album out of J-57's beats that I pa**ed on I mean, no hate to Brown Bag, y'all my motherf**ing friends for life But your kid's getting out of line, I might have to break out that belt tonight You will always be wack even when Soul Khan helps you write I guess that's what you get for relying on a Jew to give you a better Price [Round 3: Jefferson Price] No offense but....ah actually yeah take offense by this The FreshCoast is just a jizz stain of it's former glory I remember when Eurgh and Crugs when there they called us "f*gs" and said that Don't Flop was boring Notice now they're keeping their mouths shut cause they know they making it worse And Eurgh stood in the corner grinning like, "How the tables have turned." But out of all the FreshCoast boy band you should be the most pissed off Cause you been in a sh** spot ever since the kid you fought Jim was gonna fix it got his sh** tossed See I can't even front and say this dude is even wack sh** that ain't even gas I consider him a beast in fact When people talk about battling as a career like we're reaching for that It's only those with steady hands that keep a career from a crash So a career, how can most even perceive it at that? This is a hobby, most of us don't get a p when we rap An 1/8th get paid an 1/8th get somewhere to sleep and crash And the rest of us get free entry and somewhere to leave our bags Now that's the real tier system, getting paid to maim victims You are very near making out wishing a clear vision L.A. Riotz, M.O.B., Battle Of The Bay, Grizzle, he was throwing straight missiles But most of 'em ain't hitting, imagine He was like Lunar in '09, when Marvel and A shared that top tier spot So it should be easy money now that the top tiers gone He was lining up battles with T-Rex, nah you ain't hear wrong But not even T-Rex was willing to give him that ear shot Dot Mobb PH and X-Factor were another two making a switch If Grind Time was the other guy you'd be the paper b**h Battle leagues been moving you off Your opponents a loaner and earn fast You can never get to mirror the opus of Soul Khan So you got Stockholm Syndrome while throwing them cold battles And fell in love with the people who were f**ing you so hard sh**... {Chokes} See that's the point, you see I get why you do it Sometimes sh** can be stale at home Sometimes it feels you wanna be somewhere where you ain't alone I mean the birds wanna wa*k you off and the dudes say that you're dope It's like a little bit of praise it feels like some fame of our own I mean, they said that's the lesson You can be a beast never the less but that ain't never what they selling Cause amidst the handshakes and yelling the real test of intelligence Is making sure you never mistake respect for progression All the big battles you get, you ending their lives Every big battle I get, I've lost...every time And that's my point about progression summed up in this next line Is that your end didn't even look [?] next to mine In conclusion...f** off it's a birthday Let's start drinking And another four years at Don't Flop will make that two-nil to England Let's f**ing go [Round 3: Caustic] Y'all ready? Sorry kiddo Last night there was an incident Somebody decided to tell Jeff my rhymes I've seen a lot of things in this battle game but I never had anybody beg for mercy ahead of time When he caught wind of what I did he got so f**ing upset He told Mickey if I went through with this round he wouldn't show to the event We had a conversation There were some compromises made and honestly not a lot was changed Cause all I told you was that I would probably drop the names But you know that we agreed to, but there were no promises made And you may have talked to Daniel Stefani yesterday but you're f**ing talking to Caustic today I said it's Caustic homie, I'm known to body rappers I break a motherf**er down I'm starting to offer cla**es You be the exact motherf**er I hate, acting like a co*ky ba*tard Then go home to your fat fiancee Carly after you just done opening condom wrappers with that... [Uno Lavoz] ...f**ing b**h Holly Masters [Caustic] (Hey, I kept my word, right?) Oooh, this sh** just got incredibly real Luckily for me I don't f**ing care how you feel Why should I change my verses? You're the one who's gotta carry the guilt So with that said, let's talk about that... [Uno Lavoz] ...girl Sarah McGill [Caustic] (You mad? Oh cry. Got the cry face) What you think you the man Jeff, f**ing s*uts is not impressive Especially when it's Verb T and Joker Starr's sloppy seconds That sh** is f**ing disgusting You probably got infected and thought, "Hey, now as good a time as any to go home and pop the question." Yo, how you gonna marry a fat girl that you ashamed of obviously f** getting engaged, you need to f**ing engage in some honesty I mean I'm not hating on relationships They say the best things in life are free But what did you get her for your anniversary homie? f**ing H.I.V.? I mean, he's scared of his baby mama cause she's elephant size So he f**s random strippers, he's a hell of a guy So ladies, next time you get approached by Jefferson Price When don't you tell him to go home and try f**ing on his heavyset wife I don't even get how you sleep at the end of the night I honestly hope every last s**m inside your testicles dies So stop running around England like you some s**ual prize And deal with the fact that you got to sleep next to that fat b**h for the rest of your life He begged me not to do this, but honestly this b**h deserves it And the only thing I learned about England is never spit your verses for that f**ing snitch Micky Worthless Yo, if your wife still says "I do" to you after this verse then she's f**ing high on d** But remember this while you're writing your vows kid You can't put a Price on love