CATS - The Ad-dressing Of Cats lyrics

You've heard of several kinds of cat And my opinion now is that You should need no interpreter To understand our character You've learned enough to take the view That cats are very much like you You've seen us both at work and games And learnt about our proper names Our habits and our habitat But how would you ad-dress a cat So first, your memory I'll jog And say, "A cat is not a dog" So first, your memory I'll jog And say, "A cat is not a dog" With cats, some say, "One rule is true Don't speak 'til you are spoken to" Myself I do not hold with that I say, "You should ad-dress a cat But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity" You bow and taking off your hat Ad-dress him in this form, "O Cat" Before a cat will condescend To treat you as a trusted friend Some little token of esteem Is needed like a dish of cream And you might now and then supply Some Caviar or Strauss burg pie Some potted grouse or salmon paste He's sure to have his personal taste And so in time you reach your aim And call him by his name A cat's entitled to expect These evidences of respect So this is this and that is that And there's how you ad-dress a cat A cat's entitled to expect These evidences of respect So this is this and that is that And there's how you ad-dress a cat