Stared into a white light and felt no reason to stay. You let the April breeze carry you away that day. And after two years, it's still not easy to say what I feel when these thoughts of you bleed into my sanity And the few times that we spoke seemed as if they were in confidence and the times you showed your smile…it was brilliant and honest. I never quite knew what it meant…I wish I'd never known Stepping back into the past, I can see the crowded chapel. I can hear your friends crying. Sunken eyes stuck to the floor, I can hear every whisper. On graduation day, through the eyes of a mother I can see the agony. When I think of you… I wonder what happened and what that says about who I am. Am I living a life of meaning? Is this life even worth living? I don't have all the answers…but I know one thing…and that's Christian, if you're out there, if you can hear me... You have no idea how much I wish you could see the life that layed before you, who you could've been. But that was so much more than you could see at sixteen. And maybe that's why I can't catch any f**ing sleep, maybe I wait all night for you to come and visit me. Tell me why can our innocence can never stay alive? It's not right