Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine - God, Saint Peter and the Guardian Angel lyrics

Kids are playing gangster wars They don't believe in Santa Claus The baseball bats are soft of course The blood is just tomato sauce As icebergs go, it's just the tip The start of the apprenticeship A short, sharp Glasgow, kiss me quick Karate chop and Kung fu kick And in the wings the grannies wait Doing things that grannies hate Queuing to accumulate A pittance from the welfare state Then back home on a forty four Put the chain on, lock the door Cross another five bar gate Sit and wait Don't open the door don't talk to strangers You've not met before Your guardian angel will watch over you If your guardian angel has got nothing to do In space no one can hear you scream Because no one's really listening Saint Peter's got his gates to clean And God's too busy saving queens To ever get down off the fence And give the meek their inheritance So it's only common sense To get yourself some self-defense Don't open the door don't talk to strangers You've not met before Your guardian angel will watch over you If your guardian angel has got nothing to do Don't open the door don't talk to strangers You've not met before Your guardian angel will watch over you If your guardian angel has got nothing to do And so we leave this nursery rhyme This grizzly gruesome pantomime From the cradle to a life of crime and back again And now it's time to say goodbye