Carl Brutananadilewski(Dave Willis) - I'll Be Home For Christmas lyrics

[slow, reverent music plays] [Verse One] I'll be home for Christmas Watching the PapaJohns.com Bowl Florida State leads by twenty-eight So why...is Rutgers...attempting a field goal?! It's 4th and 17, you gotta go 4th and do an inside kick! Christmas Eve will find me Rocking out to Styx As I flog my knob to the J. Crew catalog 'Cause the video store closed at six! [tempo increases, picks up rock beat] [Verse Two] I'll be home for Christmas Knockin' back some brews Screw nutmeg, I got a party keg And I'm crankin' Motley Crue! Christmas Eve will find me Polishing my horn Yes, I'll be home alone this Christmas Jerkin' it to p**n! I'll be home alone this Christmas Spankin' it to p**n! [band plays flourish, fades back to slow music] I won't be all alone this Christmas 'Cause I'll be jerking it....to...p**n! (music stops) (laughs) Yeah...