Cards Against Humanity - Cards Against Humanity: 2013 Holiday Pack lyrics

Black cards Because they are forbidden from masturbating, Mormons channel their repressed s**ual energy into ________. Blessed are you, Lord our God, creator of the universe, who has granted us ________. But wait, there's more! If you order ________ in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in ________ absolutely free! GREETINGS HUMANS I AM ________ BOT EXECUTING PROGRAM Here's what you can expect for the new year. Out: ________. In: ________. I really hope my grandma doesn't ask me to explain ________ again. Kids these days with their iPods and their Internet. In my day, all we needed to pa** the time was ________. Revealed: Why He Really Resigned! Pope Benedict's Secret Struggle with ________! What's the one thing that makes an elf instantly ejaculate? White cards A magical tablet containing a world of unlimited p**nography. A simultaneous nightmare and wet dream starring Sigourney Weaver. Being blind and deaf and having no limbs. Breeding elves for their priceless semen. Congress's flaccid penises withering away beneath their suit pants. Finding out that Santa isn't real. Giving money and personal information to strangers on the Internet. Having a strong opinion about Obamacare. Jizzing into Santa's beard. Making up for 10 years of sh**ty parenting with a PlayStation. Moses gargling Jesus's balls while Shiva and the Buddha penetrate his divine hand holes. People with cake in their mouths talking about how good cake is. Piece of sh** Christmas cards with no money in them. Rudolph's bright red balls. Slicing a ham in icy silence. Swapping bodies with mom for a day. The Grinch's musty, cum-stained pelt. The Hawaiian goddess Kapo and her flying detachable vagina. The royal afterbirth. The sh**tier, Jewish version of Christmas. These low, low prices!