I was there on the day that you died And I'm the only one here as they bury your hide And this is the last time I'll be by your side Well the world is one soul fewer The preacher says the last rites so well Says you're going to Heaven and not to Hell But he has to say that and I know damn well That you're Satan bound REFRAIN: So if you go to Hell would you get me something nice Maybe a T-Shirt or maybe a hat or maybe some loaded dice And if you go to Hell would you at least send me a card So I'll know how you're doing And I'll know where you are Well you never did care how much you did drink And you never did care what the others did think And I've got a feeling that now that you're dead You won't even remember my name I used to write and you'd never write back I'd call on my card and you'd call me collect You never bought gifts and you never left tips But it's never too late for a change REFRAIN So go to Hell you ba*tard Live painfully ever after You'll burn for all eternity No one rides for free There's only one way to escape Satan's flames If you're willing to pay to clear your bad name This is the place and now is the time So come on give me a sign REFRAIN Burn for all eternity and save a seat for me