Capitol Steps - I'm So Indicted lyrics

My fellow Americans, it's time for me to have an important conversation with my most trusted advisor. He's my friend, he's my conscience, he explains things to me when I don't understand them. And let's face it, that's a not-small portion of the time. He's the one that taught me that FEMA is not a bone in the human leg. He explained to me that an HMO is not someone who's attracted to men. You all probably know him as "Shooter," he's my vice president: Dick Cheney! Good to see you, how are you, nice to see you, what's happening, pleasure to see you...Mr. President, how is everything? How's it goin' there, Dick-o? Well, Mr. President, I just would hope that you and all the other American people would understand that this is the first time that I have ever shot a man accidentally. Surely you understand that, Mr. President. I would also like to say, I don't know why I'm getting all this grief, I went to visit the man I shot in the hospital. You shot a man in the hospital too? Get on... Okay, we're gonna be joined by former administration aid, Scooter Libby. Or, as we call him, Scooby Looby. Of course, many people are questioning the people that I keep losing in my administration. People left and right...I keep losing people that are involved with me. I just want to ensure all Americans that if I lose anyone else, don't worry, I stand ready to step up and take over. And, don't worry about things, Scooter, we're gonna get you reinstated. We'll even get you back pay. Uh, thanks Mr. Cheney. We'll even pay you radioactively. When people asked about who leaked that agent I pleaded ignorance, that's been my theme We all don't wanna swim with shoes of cement So Scooter's gonna take one for the team You want me smearin', steerin' The news away from you guys My polls are goin', lower Than my grades at Yale Just walk the plank We both will say thanks I'm so indicted He's gonna bite it I'm less popular than him and I'm unindicted So it's decided I was...misguided? They know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they got you, they got you I'll get a lawyer, and I won't take chances They're gonna offer me some kind of deal Just plead exterminating circumstances Or maybe like Ned Beatty, I will squeal Right now I'm freakin', leakin' Right into my trousers If I tattle, that'll Lead to both of you Don't go that trail I'm too cute for jail Don't be short-sighted Then help me fight it Well, if we have a good excuse, hey, I think they'll buy it Hey, let's all try it... I am not a crook I did not have s**ual relations with that woman, Judith Miller Mission accomplished Ohhh...done!