Round like a circle that is forming, made of television ads More and more I see the warning of the conditions I might have I have countless new disorders that have finally been revealed I have dry eye, spastic bladder and that one with Sally Field I take d** for every syndrome, I'm like a powder keg When I kick my spouse at bedtime, now I claim it's restless leg If your health is in decline Just take ten pills and you're fine Like the lithium I'm taking with a dose of estrogen Mixed with Demerol and Prozac, now I've got hair on my chin Son's on Ritalin and Bextra, we thought he had ADD But it turns out that the whole time he is just an SOB I need Ambien, Lunesta, to help me sleep alright 'Cause Levitra and Cialis keep my husband up all night If your life's as bad as mine At least ten pills come to mind Lasix, Cruex, Metamucil, Celebrex and Naproxen Then I take a few Vytorin that I wash down with some gin Now my ears are always ringing, I think Lipitor's to blame There's no reason that I take it, I just really like the name I mix Lidocaine with high balls, and the side effects were queer I was hearing through my eyeballs, and I'm tasting through my rear And that giant nose of Claritin is something I must try And I take Ginkgo Biloba, but can't remember why So I quit those pills cold turkey, it was all a big mistake And I swear there is no supplement or medicine I'll take And though lately I have found, though depressed and feeling down Thanks to Botox I can't frown