Canis - MOM lyrics

I got demons in my head Ugh I got demons in my head Ugh [Verse 1: Fiction] I got demons in my head, I'm thinking they want me dead They keep on getting stronger the longer I lay in bed I keep on trying to fight em when I write em with the lead From the pencil, that's a pistol, red flag, blow the whistle Let me tell ya, it's official, I been swimming in the deep end Feeling weakened, descent got me less than decent Straight tweaking I'm dodging calls now, you know the reason Alienated, lazy and faded Lady infatuated, lately I hate it sh** is making me jaded Making me take this, lighter to every single bridge I'm at a point where I really do not give a sh** Self destruction, that's my forte If you think this f**ed this only foreplay I've cheated d**h in more than four ways And I'll find four more before my corpse lays [Skit: Cali Smooth] Oh, Jay I- I think you're a real sweet guy But I just don't see this working out between us any more (damn) I'm so sorry [Verse 2: Fiction] I always seem to fall for the wrong girl Or maybe the right girl, but the wrong world Or maybe the right world, but the wrong time My weak heart keeps tugging on my strong mind I love lying, tell my friends I'm beyond fine That's a feeling I ain't felt in a long time Probably think I just say it so the song rhymes But I never ever lie when I'm on lines I'm trying to be a positive role model But I'm deep sea diving and I got no goggles Feel like throwing bottles in a drunken rage I don't even drink I'm just drunk on rage Sometimes my heart feels like thunder caged And I'll be stuck in my bunk for days, in a blunted haze Wondering, when I'll see the sunny rays And if my dad's proud of the son he raised Stunned from the tons of tundra I face So cold wanna run the gun to my face I know that's not the way I should face My woes but my heart and mind are misplaced Feel like a disgrace, sick of this place Everything I try sh**s in my face f** it, let me die if this is my fate And find some other s**er to fit in my place! [Skit: Whoozi] Aye Jay What's wrong witchu, man? I've been hearing things, dog Yo, get back to me, dog, I'm worried [Verse 3: Fiction] My homie told me he was worried about my mental health (I am) I guess I paint a sad picture of my stenciled self But if it wasn't for my penciling abilities I surely would succumb to my mental instability I get loose in the booth to fulfill the need To release all the things that been k**ing me Really, b? Are you feeling me? Are you keeping up? This only the intro, let me know, it is deep enough? Are you scared? Did you ever think think that you would see me low? Rabbit hole, do you wanna come and see how deep it goes? Creepy flow, positivity is positively Leaking slow, but if you ask me, man, I'm decent, bro! Even though, I been feeling dark enough to reap a soul sh** was so much simpler a week ago, peep the flow Understand that sh** has gotten heavy it ain't sweet no more I'm sorry for the darkness in my art, but I need it, though! This is retribution, my religious institution To purge all my soul's pollution Love life, hate life, it's so confusing My birth chart is conflict and so's the music Back and forth with these rash decisions You probably think my a** is tripping, you don't have to listen But if you come and ask for Fiction I will give you my optimistic masochism For MOM I love you, mom Don't trip It's all good It's Fiction, baby! It's Fiction, baby!