Canis Major - Nostalgia lyrics

Part 1 [Verse 1] Hot or cold school lunches, on pretzels I'm munching Squeezing my apple juice pouch till nothing else comes out That bell ring, time for recess, those monkey bars are mine I'm getting all the way across, today Ima shine Fast forward, the world is yours, Nas rhymes blessed me with wisdom I had that venom written down, kept it safe in my denim I sneak a peek, teacher thinking I cheat Now she, taking my sheet, softly, my heart would weep It took me, damn near a week to get all those words correct I heard the songs through the floorboard, cousins blasting ca**ettes Remember, when I was younger mom would silence my hunger Now each day, the same sh** different toilet, look at me with no plunger Summer days, they used to be cool, now its a scorcher when it rains Maybe it's still the same, the reason I'm seeing change As the stress grew on my brain, my family tree got uprooted And that left me with no shade, aye [Verse 2] I traded freezies for reefer It's hard to be a believer When demons with heaters are meaning to leave you leaking over Disa-greements when speaking, I'm feeling like f** a regents My region just ain't prestigious, pictures of black Jesus Provoked glimmers of hope, till fiends strung out on coke Offered, they services so they could cope with the smoke I went home and I wrote, desperate to free my mind Of memories vividly staring down the barrels of nines My conscience no longer dominant, negativity's prominent Owning two pairs of jeans, that greatly effected my confidence Robberies consuming calories, poverties concluded masteries Of consonants and vowels, on the prowl for bigger salaries I've, changed inside lost my innocent vibe I'm villain entwined, confined by the state of my mind I grind, but there's not enough time, no Brita, got my water bitter Mama ain't raise no quitter, uh Part 2 [Verse 1] The sky is cloudy, rain dripping from my brim I tug on it, let the excess water runoff, the suns gone If I die today how many of y'all will miss Shawn? Pardon, Navajo, now I chief hard Please god, what's the reason I go through all this sh**? If I'm living your script, you know the next thing is Me cursing you, what can be worse, give me something new I apologize, that was just stress and I'm a young fool I may need a shrink, now the yelling's getting louder And I'm sitting, tryna think, but that phone keep ringing Asking for Cheryl Bluntt, already smoked one Start rolling another, altercations with my mothers brother Are you prepared to take my life? You threaten but don't be idle This young, quiet n***a can be quite homicidal I carry more than 3 knives, strike at you vitals I've lived this life, my nightmare sweats kept me up at night Fights, ducking cops, strays, coming my way They missed hit innocents, lives taken to this day I still see his face, damn is my sh** laced, my heart race No if it wasn't b**h I would've have closed my own case Pick myself up, impossible, I wouldn't lived through high school Without my n***a Smoove or Az-Iz, If i get older I'll make sure To protect my kids, from this awful fate, at this rate I'll be lucky to see heavens gates, damn again that I forgot to pray It's those leecher preacher that made me turn astray Blaming others for my f** ups, come on n***a nut up You old enough to take responsibility, shonuff