Cabbage - Dinner Lady lyrics

I'm a dinner lady In a private school Where the lips are so stiff and Jack Wills is so cool I wear a baseball cap And thus branded a fool But if you piss me off then you'll be eating my drool When I'm stealing food Or hiding in the loos I'm jacked up on the hot counter to serve a ball of food A fat teacher approaches With a wobbly hip And I politely inform her that we're all out of chips She gives me a glare As I bite my fingertips I offer new potatoes and she absolutely flips But then i ponder How hard her life must be I mean it's all on a plate thanks to my ma and daddy But regardless of the car And this cushy job This b**h won't settle without corn on the cob And then one day I got so bored and idle Served enough sausage rolls to make me suicidal To combat this state I had a wa*k in the quiche And I watched the headmaster get it stuck to his teeth (oh) Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-oh Oh (I am a dinner lady) (Oh and it's a true story) (Oh i wanna sausage roll) Suffice to say I wasn't bored anymore And i couldn't stop my laughing as i scrubbed up on the floor And next time Jeffrey's mother Asks him what he had for tea He can tell her it was a fluid That once belonged to me. (hey) (oh) (It's all for me, I'm a) (A dinner lady) (It's all for me) (Oh I am a dinner lady) (And it's a true, tr-tr-tr-tr-tr-true story) (Tr-true) Oh And it's a tr-true, true story Life as a dinner lady Oh and it's a true story Giggleswick school!