Buddy Wakefield - Convenience Stores lyrics

We both know the smell of a convenience store at four a.m. like the backs of a lotta hands She sells me trucker crack, Mini Thins It's like Vivarin, but she doesn't make me feel awkward about it She can tell it's been a long drive, and it's only gonna get longer Offers me a free cup of coffee, but I never touch the stuff Besides, I'm gonna need more speed than that We notice each other's smiles immediately It's our favorite thing for people to notice--our smiles It's all either one of us has to offer You can see it in the way our cheeks stretch out like arms Wanting nothing more than to say "you, oh, are welcome here" She shows brittle nicotine teeth with spaces between each one Her fingers are bony; there's no rings on em And she'd love to get her nails done someday One time she had her hair fixed They took out the grease, made it real big on top, and feathered it She likes it like that She'll never be fully informed on some things just like I will never understand who really buys MoonPies Or those rolling, wrinkled, dried up sausages, but then again she's been here a lot longer than me She's seen everything from men who grow dread locks out of their top lips to children who look like cigarettes I give her my money, I wait for my change, but I feel like there's something more happening here I feel like a warm mop bucket and dingy tiles that'll never come clean I feel like these freezers cannot be restocked often enough I feel like trash cans of candy wrappers with soda pop dripping down the wrong side of the plastic I feel like everything just got computerized I feel like she was raised to say a lot of stupid things about a color And I feel like if I were to identify myself as gay this conversation would stop It's what I do I feel I get scared sometimes And I drive But in one minute and 48 seconds I'm gonna walk outta here With a full tank of gas, a bottle of Mini-Thins, and a pint of milk While there's a woman still trapped behind a formican counter somewhere in North Dakota Who says she wants nothing more than to hear my whole story All 92,775 miles of it; I can feel it though She's heard more opinions and trucker small talk than Santa Claus has made kids happy So I only find the nerve to tell her the good parts That she's the kindest thing to happen since Burlington, Vermont, and I wanna leave it at that Because men--who are not smart--have taken it farther Have cradled her up like a nutcracker and made her feel as warm as a high school education on the dusty backroads Or a beer in a koozie I feel like she's been waiting here a long time For the one who'll come two-steppin through that door on 18 wheels Without makin her feel like it's her job to sweep up the nutshells alone when she's done been cracked again Who won't tempt her to s** the wedding ring off his dick, but will show her, simply, love She doesn't need me, or any other man, but she doesn't know that either And I'm just hopin like crazy she doesn't think I'm the one Because the only time I'll ever see North Dakota again is in a Van Morrison song late, late at night, I promise Y'all, I feel like she's 37 years old wearing 51 badly Dying inside like certain kinds of dances around fires to speak through you, a forest If you weren't so taken with sparks But she wasn't given those words She has not been told that she can definitely change the world She knows some folks do, but not in convenience stores and not with lottery tickets So I finally ask her what I've been feelin the entire time I've been standin there Still getting' scared like I do sometimes, really, really ready to drive I ask "is this it for you? Is this all you'll ever do?" Her smile collapsed That tightly strapped-in pasty skin, it went loose Her heart fell crooked She said, not knowing my real name "I can tell, buddy, by the Mini Thins and the way you drive We're both taken with novelty We've both believed in mean gods We both spend our money on things that break too easily, like people And I can tell that you think you've had it rough So especially you should know It's what I do I dream I get high sometimes And I'm gonna roll outta here one day I just might not get to drive"