Brock Baker - The Brock Baker Roast of Brock Baker lyrics

Yeah, that's a quality tweet... Oh, hello. You've probably never heard of me. Brock Baker's my name. People stopped watching me years ago and all of my impressions sound the same. If you screened my videos in a theatre everyone would be booing. I'm so desperate for views I'm doing what everyone else is doing. A roast myself challenge? That sounds pretty awesome I'll hop on this bandwagon Quicker than Shane Dawson But no, let me stop there This is a roast about myself I'm 30 years old And I have toys on my shelf Been on YouTube for 10 years Got nothin' to show for it Next time I'm on a bridge I should just f**in' go for it (I'm talking about jumping. Off a bridge! Not really, that's an exaggeration. A bad joke. I'm full of those!) Roast myself I do this pretty much in all my videos anyway Roast myself 'Til I was in my 20s, my Dad thought I was gay Roast myself I'm not, but this musical style isn't helping my case I wish I had better teeth and a handsomer face (transition) I'm in the kitchen Makin' a b**hin' dish For myself and no one else 'Cuz I'm perpetually single I barely even mingle Last time I had s** Was with a can of Pringles This roast is too hot Sometime turn down the burner I'm the most hated Brock Even more so than Turner I'm old, I'm used up I peaked years ago My rhymes s**, I'm f**ed I have terrible flow I was only popular off other people's success When asked if I wanted easy views I answered with a "f** yes" Now my view count is in a downward spiral No one talks to me unless I'm going super viral But talent doesn't matter in the YouTube game You need to be cute for that internet fame It's a popularity contest that I just can't win I need tall hair and jump cuts just to fit in Collab with a bigger YouTuber? That'll get me views No thanks, I'll pa**, I'm better than you Opportunities like that are becoming more of a rarity I only put Brock in my stuff 'cause I like giving to charity Another option is to pander, that puts me into a depression So tune in next week for my Overwatch impressions Huh... that's actually not a bad idea. But what if I s** at those voices? Ah, that never stopped me before! Roast myself I'm so full of self loathing, this has been easy Roast myself Hearing myself sing makes me queasy Roast myself Hey, remember when I used to be funny? Uhh, yeah, neither do I... I often ask myself, "what am I doing with my life?" By the time I reached 30, thought I'd at least have a wife Living in a nice house with that voice over cash But dreams like that just don't happen in a flash I need to work harder, get over my fears Pour in my blood, my sweat, and my tears 'Cuz YouTube isn't everything, there's bigger stuff ahead Remember when the most subscribed channel was Fred? But there's no point in being angry and bitter Burning bridges and taking my frustrations out on Twitter Instead of being mopey and feeling underappreciated I should be proud of the stuff I've created Made millions of people laugh with my voices and jokes There's no reason for me to be constantly broke 'Cuz I'm pretty damn funny, creative, talented, unique I wrote this whole song even though it took me a few weeks Despite the fact I've made poor life choices I'm the god damn man of a kajillion damn voices Plus I'm big brained, big hearted, big crotched So a big thanks to those few who actually watched