Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Brian Regan!: Cheering: Brian: Alright, How ya doin' folks?: Feedback: It's like you're al sittin' there, "Hey pal, you got some jokes?": Laughing: "Why don't you start crankin' 'em out, circus boy?: Laughing: It's good to be here Just tryin' to go through life without looking stupid...: Laughing: It's not workin' out too well...: Laughing: Sometimes you'll say the wrong thing at the right time and feel stupid Somethin' like, "You tow!": Laughing: I was gettin' out of a cab at the airport and the ddriver goes, "Hey have a nice flight!" "You tow!": Laughing: "You too, you have a nice flight too, in case you ever fly someday.": Laughing: "Don't even look at me, I'm a moron.": Laughing: Don't know when to say the "You too" phrase.: Laughing: Can't handle it.: Laughing: I never learn, you know. A waitress will bring my meal. "Hey, enjoy your meal." "You tow!": Laughing: "But you don't have one, do ya? I'm a dufus!": Laughing: "If you do eat, enjoy it when you eat it if you have a break or something, later!": Laughing: "If you get an opportunity, that's all I'm tryin' to say!": Laughing: "That's all that I'm drivin' at, really! If you think about it...": laughing: "...That's all.": Laugihng: You ever start to say somethin' and in the middle of what you're sayin' you decide to say somethin' else, completely?: Laughing: You know, there's already words out there.: Laughing: These friends were leaving the other day and I started to say, "Hey, take care!" And I decided to say "Good luck!" Instead like halfway through, you know.: Laughing: So it came out neither, "See you later, Brian!" "Take... luck!": Laughing: "Take luck and care... take... care of the luck. Good luck take care of the... the luck that you might have.": Laughing: "If you have luck, take it, care for it. Take luck care of it... when you take luck care of...": Brian shouting gibberish:: Laughing: Be sure you're seein' them again...: Laughing: "So how do you know that guy back ther, huh?": Laughing: I'm always puttin' my foot in my mouth I don't stop to think, you know, "Oh no, words are coming out! Oh no!": Laughing: "I'm not thinkin' of what I said!": Laughing: Like I met this woman recently, I could've sworn she was pregnant. Let me tell ya.: Crowd "Aw"s: I know now...: Laughing: I think the rule is, "Don't guess at that, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever...": Laughing: Somethin' like that. When you have enough "evers" memorized, you know? So I say, "Hey, when's that BA-by due?!" You ever feel a word coming out but it's to late to stop it?: Laughing: It's... it's comin' out and loud, "Oh hey when's that BA-by due?! BABY?!": Laughing: "What baby?": Weird Authentic Brian Regan Sounds:: Laughing: "At the zoo! That... the pandas!": Laughing: "The neigbors are tryin' to have one, you know. Thought we'd talk about. Talk about the... fluffy zoo animals. I hear they get them over there, you can... you know, look at 'em...": Laughing: "If you want... touch 'em...": Laughing: Have you ever guessed somebody's gender wrong? 'Cause no recoverin' from that!": Laughing: You just gotta move on 'cause you ain't wrigglin' outta nothin', ya know?: Laughing: "Hey uh, excuse me sir?" "Ma'am!" "Ok!": Laughing: "Ok, bye! Bye human!": Laughing: "Bye, person! Nice to mmet you, individual!": Laughing: I can't remeber names... And I'm always tryin' to do the nickname thing to get out of it, everybody knows what you're tryin' to pull, you know? "Hey... Buckaroo?...": Laughing: "My name's not Buckaroo." "Sure, sure it is, Pardner?...": Laughing: Some people get really upset if you get their names wrong Especially is they have a name that's similar to another name Carolin and Caroline They got a thing about that, man Don't get that wrong, 'cause they're gonna drill ya!: Laughing: "Hey Carol... in?" "It's CaroLINE. It's CaroLINE Brian...": Laughing: "It's BriON!": Laughing: "Yes, my name is BRION! It's very hard to say my name correctly!": Laughing: "Cause my name is BRIONNGA!": Laughing: Can you say that? Very few can... Correctly.: Laughing: END