What if the Earthbound Had Lyrics? Here we go! Gather 'round, let's play Earthbound A game that's sure to please It's a sequel to some Mother game That's all in Japanese One night a glowing meteor Comes down from outer space! It's a kid named Ness, and wouldn't ya guess? He's gonna save the human race So he gives his mom a kiss And with a family like this It's no wonder that he goes it alone No-oh! I mean his little baby sis She runs a courier service And yes, his father is a telephone (You're stepping on my cord, son) This title shines It's sharp and funny, yet creepy With wacky lines Like, "Poo needs water for PP" But hey, that's Earthbound That's why we love it, though If you don't like it Feel free to shove it Ness has a quest to fix the things That are wrong with Americans Like religious weirdos, mindless zombies And illegal aliens Oh-oh! A psychic girl, a science nerd And a ninja join the crew Taming animals by hitting them 'Cause that's what heroes do! It's a crazy universe Where a rookie front-desk nurse Can re-animate your slaughtered friends Oh-oh! Where you buy some farm-fresh eggs And in five minutes they've got legs Because now they're frickin' full-grown hens! Yeah! Sing it chickens! Bawk bawk bawk bawk Bawk bawk bawk bawky bawk bawk bawk! Bawk bawk bawk bawk Bawk bawk bawk bawky bawk bawk bawk! And that is Earthbound That's why we love it, so If you don't like it Feel free to shove it It's goofy but I don't mind 'cause it's the Kind of a great adventure you might find In the heart Of a child Going wild! Let's hit the ATM! (Money money money money) I've got like eighty grand in the bank (Money money) 'Cause my dad's never home, He's a phone sending cash to say sorry (Sorry, I'm a phone) We could've bought some stock. (Bought some stock, bought some stock) Or fed a third world country (Save the children, save the children) But we're kids So we choose to get stuff we can use to fight robots Is that cool or what? (Boing) They fight through winter snows And lands of leisure They get two things from foes Nightmares and seizures! So now they're forced to grind Fights last forever Reach level 99 The end is nigh (Boing) Have a cup of coffee Suddenly it's trippy Telephone your mother This is just another Average boy-meets-girl Boy-meets-boy-meets-boy Boy-becomes-a-robot story Yeah, spoiler alert Four robotic friends hold fast Traveling into the past They meet the source of evil there And best him through the power of prayer! Kinda rips off Final Fantasy IV But Earthbound's still a game that we adore! That we adore Key change, mofo! This game is strange But it has charming and smart jokes And it has range Including two or three fart jokes And that's my Earthbound That's why I love it, so If you don't like it Feel free to shove it Come on everybody! Say, "Fuzzy pickles!" You know what I love? Earthbound