Mama got a call from the Principal's office "Better get down here fast 'Cause Mandy pa**ed out when her water broke in the middle of geometry cla**" Her mama didn't know she was nine months late Been gettin' on her 'bout gainin' weight And now she's a grandma Somebody had a baby Somebody had a breakdown Oh, it's a big day In a small town Willy Smith swore he wouldn't miss one more Of Junior's football games Got his twelve-pack o' Bud and his Friday night buzz Headin' south in the northbound lane Junior's the endzone, halfback pitch Willy's sittin' upside-down in a ditch And the crowd goes wild Somebody rent a pitch Somebody score a touchdown Oh, it's a big day In a small town There ain't no mall, no waffle house But there's always somethin' to talk about Around here, somebody shot a deer Somebody's gettin' married, buried, or carried away The sun comes up And the sun goes down Ah, it's a big day In a small town Rumour goin' 'round about a methodist man And a jailbait checkout queen His wife caught wind of unspeakable sin Goin' down on Aisle 13 She left all the chicken in the fryin' pan Drew all the kids in the grand caravan With a baseball bat Somebody went to Wal-Mart In nothin' but a night-gown Oh, it's a big day In a small town There ain't no mall, no waffle house But there's always somethin' to talk about Around here, somebody shot a deer Somebody's gettin' married, buried, or carried away The sun comes up And the sun goes down Ah, it's a big day In a small town