(Spoken) It was the pig fair last September The day I well remember I was walking up and down in drunken pride When my knees began to flutter And I sank down in the gutter And a pig came up and lay down by my side As I lay there in the gutter Thinking thoughts I could not utter I thought I heard a pa**ing lady say, "You can tell the man who boozes By the company he chooses." And with that the pig got up And walked away. (Song sung a capella) You've heard of General Wellington Who won at Waterloo, But there's a good old Irishman I'll mention unto you He comes from dear old Dublin He's a man we all applaud For he always finds a corkscrew Far more handy than a sword. He's good old General Guinness He's a soldier strong and stout Found on every bottle front He can't be done without His noble name has worldwide fame Preserved through hearty cheers Hurrah for General Guinness Of the Dublin Boozileers! This hale and hearty warrior Is worshipped in the ranks, For he does his task inside the cask As well as in the tanks. He's borne the brunt on every front, North, South, East and West, And he wears about ten million canteen Medals on his chest. He's good old General Guinness. He has won the world's applause. Was him who kept our spirits up In the midst of all our wars. Who was the first to flirt with Mademoiselle from Armentiers? Why good old General Guinness Of the Dublin Boozileers. All over bonny Scotland, too, The General is seen. They've given him the freedom Of the "toon" of Aberdeen. From Inverness to Galloshiles, He keeps them warm and bright And they love to gather round him, Och, on every moonlit night. He's good old General Guinness He's as good as Scottish broth. Twas him who turned the Firth of Forth Into the Firth of Froth All Scotsmen dance the highland fling And shout when he appears Hurrah for General Guinness Of the Dublin Boozileers!