He has eight eyes you have two He sees things differently to you You have two legs he has eight He leaves the dug out and he's heading for the plate He finds his place to face the mound Then turns his hat the wrong way round He's lining up his little bat He keeps one eye out for the cat Baseball playing spider Baseball playing spider Baseball playing spider Baseball playing spider The rumour is he took a bribe in 1992 Then ended on the winning team, that's not the thing to do They beat him up and stole his wages They broke his legs, it took them ages Baseball playing spider Baseball playing spider Baseball playing spider Baseball playing spider He didn't want to go to war The thought of dying made him sick Said he was clinically afraid of k**ing Arabs He was Iraq-nophobi-ic (All the girls say hello, all the men say hello!) (All the girls, this is your bit) Baseball playing spider . (that's lovely) (a little bit louder) Baseball playing spider (now harmonise!) Baseball playing spider (too many legs) (washed away!) (washed away on a sea of beauty!) (that's perfect, now shut up) (All the men, this is your bit. Men's bit more complicated obviously. Who says we can't multitask? I can clean my teeth and urinate at the same time. I don't always mean to. That was another Alpha course I was asked to leave) Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all (Perfect! Men so much superior to the women it's unbelievable!) (So the women are gonna start and the men will start half way through, it's a metaphor for life) Baseball playing spider Baseball playing spider . (too many legs) Baseball playing spider . (a little bit louder) Baseball playing spider . (Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all) Baseball playing spider . (Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all) Baseball playing spider . (Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all) Just me now Now the coach sits all alone In the expensive mental home Wondering why he ever played a spider in the first place Baseball playing spider Baseball playing spider Baseball playing spider . (Set 'em up and I will drink up and I will drink 'em all) Baseball playing spider . (Set 'em up, set 'em up)