Bobby Bare - Food Blues lyrics

I was waitin' in Rosie's Restaurant When the waiter came up and said what do you want I looked at the menu and it looked so nice Till he said lemme give you some advice. He said spaghetti and potatoes got too much starch Pork chops and sausage are bad for your heart There's hormones in chicken and beef and veal Bowl of ravioli is a dead man's meal. Bread got preservatives there's nitrites in ham Artificial coloring in jellies and jam Stay away from donuts run away from pie Pepperoni pizza is a sure way to die. Sugar rots your teeth and makes you put on weight But artificial sweetener's got cyclamates Eggs got cholesterol, there's fat in cheese Coffee ruins your kidneys and so does tea. Fish got mercury, red meat is poison Salt's gonna send your blood pressure risin' Hot dogs and bologna got deadly red dyes Vegetables and fruits are sprayed with pesticides. So I said what can I eat that's gonna make me last He said a small drink of water in a sterilized gla** And then he stopped and he thought for a minute And said never mind the water, there's carcinogenics in it. So I got up from the table and walked out in the street Realizin' there was nothin' I could eat I ain't eaten for a month and I'm feeling fine 'Cause he did not mention beer, whiskey, women and sweet red wine...