Bob Balaban - Little Known Facts (Off-Broadway) lyrics

CHARLIE BROWN: Hi, Linus. Where ya going? LINUS: Well Lucy's teaching me, Charlie Brown. She says, "A sister is responsible for the education of her little brother." So she's teaching me. Boy, is she intelligent LUCY: You see this tree? It is a fir tree It's calles a fir tree because it gives us fur for coats It also gives us wool in the winter time LINUS: That's very interesting, Lucy. I never knew that before LUCY: This is an elm tree. It's very little But it will grow up into a giant tree—an oak You can tell how old it is by counting it's leaves LINUS Gosh, that's fascinating Lucy CHARLIE BROWN: Now wait a minute, Lucy! I don't mean to interfere, but— LUCY: And way up there those fluffy little white things Those are clouds, they make the wind blow And way down there, those tiny little black things Those are bugs, they make the gra** grow LINUS: Is that so? LUCY: Uh huh. They run around all day long tugging and tugging at every tiny seedling till it grows up to be a giant blade of gra** LINUS: Boy, that's amazing! CHARLIE BROWN: Oh, good grief! LUCY: And this thing here. It's called a hydrant They grow all over, and no one seems to know Just how a little thing like that gives so much water See that bird? It's called an eagle Since it's little it has another name—a sparrow And on Christmas and Thanksgiving, we eat them CHARLIE BROWN: Lucy, how can you say such things? I'm sorry, but I just can't stand idly by and— LUCY: And way up there, the little stars and planets Make the rain that falls in showers And when it's cold and winter is upon us The snow comes up! Just like the flowers CHARLIE BROWN: Now wait a minute, Lucy, now I know that's wrong. Snow does not come up, it comes down LUCY: After it comes up, the wind blows it around so it looks like it's coming down CHARLIE BROWN: Linus, that's not true— LUCY: But actually it comes up out of the ground, like gra** CHARLIE BROWN: Lucy— LUCY: It comes up, Charlie Brown, snow comes up! CHARLIE BROWN: Oh, good grief! LINUS: Lucy, why is Charlie Brown banging his head against a tree? LUCY: To loosen the bark so the tree will grow faster